wordless{ish} wednesday: thankful.

well, ya knew it was coming.  a thankful post.  i would be totally lame & ungrateful if i didn't touch on some of the amazing things in my life, so here it is.

i am so in love with this time of year.  and i don't know what it is but for some reason this year's holiday season feels particularly special.  maybe it's because parker is actually more aware of christmas tree lights & santa & i'm super anxious to watch his reaction christmas morning now that he actually gets excited over new toys.  and now he actually dances with me in the living room when i blast christmas music rather than sit in his bouncer watching me like a crazy person {i know right?  why would he look at me like that?} like he did last year.  to get to show these things to a little guy for the first{ish} time is pretty exciting.

and?  i'm just happy.  i'm in a good place.  i don't want anyone to think my life is perfect, that i don't have things i wish were different or that my life is all rainbows & puppies because it's not.  i just don't choose to regularly dwell on the bad things.  because i have too much to be thankful for.  i have an amazing husband who loves our little boy more than words can describe.  i have a healthy, happy little boy who surprises me every day with how much i feel love for him.  i never knew i would feel physical pit-in-the-bottom-of-my-stomach love for this little guy.  and that nearly every day, i would stop & have to choke back tears because of how amazing he is.  seriously, that happens.  i'm totally nerdy that way.

and lastly, i am grateful for all the things i've figured out about myself in this last year.  turns out i like crafts, i can sew {new development this year} & photography has become my main creative outlet.  capturing the emotions of kids & couples & families & then making it into a piece of art for them to have forever is exhilarating to me.  for reals.  i always feel this crazy "high" coming home from a shoot when i know i've gotten some good shots & totally brought my a-game.  it makes me happy.

so there it is.

we are heading out of town for the holiday so i'm not sure when i'll be posting over the weekend.  i'm not really sure when week in iphotos will be up either... i'm not gonna stress about it.  i'm gonna wear stretchy pants, eat lots of turkey & shop at crowded stores.  i'm gonna attempt to have my family's picture taken, watch parker play with babies & visit with friends & family.  i might return ten pounds heavier than when we left but that's ok... it's what new year's resolutions are for.  and who wants to look skinny in family pictures, anyways?

i hope you all have a great holiday spending time with the ones you love.  be grateful for everything you have, even if at times it doesn't feel like much.  you can always find something to be grateful for.

{linking up with wordless wednesday at and then she {snapped},  baby baby lemon, the paper mama, & a little king & i}

pulling my hair out.

see?  literally.

this is what this whole car buying experience has been for us.  never in my whole life would i have imagined it would be so hard to get someone to take money off our hands & give us the car we want.

maybe our problem is that we're too picky.  but i figure when you're making a big purchase like a car, you should be.  we have a very specific car in mind.  certain color, certain options.  is that too much to ask for?  apparently.  are you ready for me to quit blogging about stupid car buying & resume cute pictures of parker & pretty photography?  me too.  believe-you-me... me too.

i'm ready to be done driving our silly rental car, too.

ok.  it's time to start thinking optimistically... because it always could be worse, right?  parker & sam weren't hurt in the accident.  big positive.  we just got word that we don't have to turn in the rental car until next monday... that's almost a week later than we expected.  hallelujah.  eventually {on some far off day} we will be the proud owners of a new car & i'll get to inhale new-car-smell for a week or two before parker fills it up with goldfish & cheerios.    see?  things are lookin' up already.

but i promise, i do have other things to blog about.  like how inspired i am by my sister's ironman & how i want to train for a race in the fall.  or how i stuffed my face full of ice cream & cheesecake over our vacay & i'm ready to give this clean eating thing a real shot.  or how parker is still not walking but he's getting cuter by the day & has started signing words like "please" & "more" & it kills me every time.

so, yes, there are other things going on in our lives.  and i promise this blog will resume to normal life eventually.  well, i kinda promise.  what the h is normal life anyway?

and now, to reward you for reading an unloading of my feelings {or maybe you didn't & are just checking out the pictures... either way is cool with me}, here is your moment of zen.  a picture of p-ray in his pack-n-play while we were on v-cay.

who sleeps like that?  parker.  that's who.

your votes always make me happy.  even in the most hair-pulling of times.

{samantha marie}

samantha marie

january 15 - march 13

my sweet baby niece passed away on sunday.  she was two months old.  we miss her so much & my heart is breaking for her mom & dad.  her funeral is on friday & i am anticipating that there won't be a dry eye in the whole chapel.  things like this aren't supposed to happen, & when they do it leaves a whole lot of people asking "why".  i have been sick to my stomach since i heard the news sunday morning & i suspect it will continue to ache a while longer.  a long while longer.  shock & disbelief has definitely been felt as well.  it's very surreal.

thank you everyone for your kind words, thoughts, & prayers.  i will do my best to pass them on to sam's brother & his wife.  they have a lot of family to fall back on & can hopefully get by on some borrowed strength for a while.

i am grateful for a strong belief that kasey & laura will get to be with their daughter again some day.  that she will be reunited with her parents & three sisters again & they will live together as a family.  and that this time away from her is temporary.  i believe Heavenly Father has a plan for her, & that somehow in her two short months of life she fulfilled His plan for her.

however, it will be a while until we know the answers to the "why."  and our hearts will most definitely continue to ache a long while more.  until we get to see her again & until kasey & laura get to hold her in their arms again, she will be missed every single day & never forgotten.

thankful thursday

{sorry such horrible quality.  taken by my phone,  in the dark}

today i am thankful for: {in absolutely no particular order}

family.  my best friend.  the kind of father sam is to parker.  their friendship.  our friendship.   moms.  dads.  sisters. sister-in-laws.  brother-in-laws.  grandparents.  baby-sitters.  date nights.  girlfriends.  crafts.  writing.  creating.  taking pictures.  making them pretty.  being able to go cool new places.  the sunshine.  the rain.  clouds.  clear skies.  hugs.  kisses.  flip flops. laughter. good tv & movies. peanut butter & jelly. good in-laws.  good food. iPhones. my religion. oreos. running, cycling, a good work out. funny youtube videos. animals.  turkey dinner.  a car that runs.  singing in the car.  baby gibberish.  baby squeals.  a warm place to live.  a cozy bed. good health.  safe travels in really crappy conditions.  good jobs.  living in a great country.  freedoms.  good talks.  new clothes.  ice cream. chocolate.  parker's giggles.  technology.  blogging.  hair.  music.  hearing.  skype.  eyesight.  gorgeous scenery.  sunsets.  sunrises.  amazing parents.  electricity.  aunts.  uncles.  memories.  blankets.  snow.  hot chocolate.  puffy coats.  warm boots.  sleeping in.  nursing.  modern medicine.   jokes.  vacations.  holidays.  snowflakes.  sports.  a husband that loves sports.  legos.  crafts.  inspiration.  service. 

happy thanksgiving.

what is one thing you're thankful for today?  

oh yeah, & i am SO thankful for you votes. but hopefully you knew that.