Tuesday, October 9, 2012

apparently i only blog on tuesdays?

third weekly tuesday post, folks.  this is becoming a thing?  something about tuesdays makes my babies nap at the same time i guess & thus allows for quick updates.  i don't have the time to make something organized & thought out, so here are some randoms, mmmk?

--> still not getting a heck of a lot of sleep around here.  elliot wakes up 2-3x a night & his sleep becomes restless at about 5:00am & at that point i usually pull him into bed with me to squeak out a couple more hours of laying-in-bed-half-asleep time.  i know more sleep is in the near future, it seems to be getting better each week but it's definitely the one thing that makes my day the hardest.

--> oh wait, the fact that we're in the midst of potty training parker is probably the thing that makes my day the hardest.  we got the genius idea to cold-turkey potty train parker last weekend which means the last four days have been spent with a pantsless toddler running around the house & using the potty every 15 minutes.  we only have 1-2 accidents a day & he totally seems to be getting it... as long as we're home & he's within two steps of the toilet.  i'm afraid to leave my house again ever.  maybe when he's 16.

--> operation "be healthy & get in shape" is in {sorta} full swing.  ya like that?  sorta full swing?  i've been running & going back to stroller strides but since this potty training business has begun, i haven't really left the house.  but i have been cutting down the amount of sweets & junk i'm eating quite a bit... unless you count the two batches of chocolate chip pumpkin cookies i made in the last 3 days, well then, there is that.  but it's all about portion control!  what is the fall without pumpkin cookies?  it's nothing, i tell ya.

--> and now?  let's be real.  i have good days & bad days.  some days i feel like i'm rocking this mom of two thing & like i have it all under control.  other days?  i realize it's been 5 days since i've showered, six days since i've blogged, three days since i've worked out, i remember i have a huge back log of editing work to do for clients, my stretchy pants that i've worn three days in a row smell like spit up, the laundry is piled up & the hampers are overflowing, one kid is nursing & the other is currently peeing on the carpet & i think i'm gonna lose it.  sometimes?  it's just plain hard.  it really really is.  and i have those weak moments where i want to curl up in a corner & cry because i don't think i can do it all.  no wait, it's because i can't do it all.

being a mom is hard, you guys.  and just because i have said that, doesn't make me unhappy or ungrateful.  i wouldn't trade my babies in for a single thing & there isn't a second in my day where i would give any of it up.  but it can be overwhelming & it's so easy to start feeling sorry for yourself.

where am i going with this?  well, i guess sometimes i feel guilty for complaining or not appreciating every tiring moment.  in any given second, something could change.  we've been blessed with healthy babies & i have so much to be grateful for.  so why can't i go about every single day being grateful for each crazy moment?  that's what i feel guilty about.  i have very close friends & family who can't have kids, who have lost babies or who have babies with a chronic illness.

so i keep going.  in the end, i do have nothing to complain about.  i can have my weak moments but i know a day will come where i will wish i hadn't wished these days away.  i will miss the sweet baby smell of elliot's head & long for the days when parker's bare bottom sat on my lap & asked to read "the grouchy ladybug" for the 100 millionth time.  i will wish i had enjoyed it more & had stopped worrying about clean hair, clean laundry, my daily run or frequent blog posts.  but sometimes it's easy to lose sight of that.

so that's where we're at.  trying to appreciate every crazy moment & looking for joy in the everyday.  should be easy right?  i mean, look at this face.


38 comments:

  1. Love your post! I know how you feel -- feeling guilty about not being grateful for the little things. But I think that awareness alone helps you start to LOOK for the little things. Last year I kept a gratitude journal during December and it really helped me notice those little things like the cuddles and the smells and the moments of completeness. You really are rocking it, Amy! By the way, those cookies were/are delicious and next time I come over and plop my butt at your table for two hours I will at least help you process some laundry. :)

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  2. Aww. I love this! I can tell you it totally gets easier!!

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  3. Once you get more than 3 hours of sleep you will feel like 2 million bucks. It is hard, but with the time, it does get easier...there are still days when they both scream at the same time, but they are fewer and farther between. I really wanted to start potty training the boy early and around two, but with a newborn knew I couldn't...now the little brother is 7 months and the boy is almost 2.5 things are going in the right direction. Yes, it would be great if he were potty trained by now, but it's not the end of the world!

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  4. Been looking forward to your every Tuesday posts ;) I have a just turned 9 month old and I just started sleeping through the night , I feel you on the sleep but two children I'm afraid and i say that cause we are trying for another and I'm hoping it's what I want I mean it is but wow I'm scarred, I do have 4 step children who r older so it is nice to have help :)))) don't know what I'm getting at but I love your blog and just know your a great mom!!!!!!!!!!

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  5. i feel you, everynight the past 3 weels or so i have got down on my knees and prayed for so many things, mainly the ability to keep on going at times. been rough here too. we need to get the babies together!!! miss you girl, you rock!!

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  6. You are so brave with the cold-turkey potty training and a little baby. We bought all the "supplies" for Will, but I know he is ready yet and I really have no idea where to start! You are doing a great job, and I enjoy your perspective on appreciating everything in the moment!! Cute shot of little Elliot!

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  7. Those first few months are INSANE! Hang in there mama. And clean hair is totally overrated! ;)

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  8. word. that last few paragraphs hits it right on the head!!

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  9. you are rockin it! sometimes it is just plain hard....and thats okay...no need to feel guilty. you are grateful for those moments too because they make you stronger and let you know that you can do hard things too. I miss you guys! I cant wait till you start leaving the house regularly again :) I totally understand though and will just cyber stock you until then to keep our friendship alive...haha

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  10. Aaaaaah this post is exactly where I am in life except my sleeping in with the baby so I can sleep juuust a little longer starts at 6am and promptly ends at 7:30 & I gave up on potty training until my eldest can talk a little more. But other than that, SAME! So you're not alone lady! :D

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  11. My hair was dirty until my kids were 14 I think. :] You're doing great if you can blog once a week! Rooting for you!!

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  12. Baby boy is absolutely beautiful! He's grown up so much, even in the past few weeks!

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  13. Oh, hi. I'm in your boat too. I'd kill for more than 3 hours of sleep. But, like you, I'm taking it in stride. This is my life now and it won't forever be. I feel like super mom some days and a loose canon other days. Keeps life interesting, if anything. To keep going, I constantly remind myself how quickly Delia has grown in the past 2 years. It's absolutely insane how fast it goes regardless of how slow the days seem to pass! You're doing great =) ....and to make you feel like a super fit, Victoria's Secret model, I'll tell you that I have 12 lbs to lose. And I'm currently sick with a killer sinus infection, so zero work outs have happened and I ordred pizza last night for dinner.

    Whatever =)

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  14. ah the guilt that comes with motherhood. It's in everything that we do - I swear! Enjoy the weekend and don't look back at chores? Then I end up feeling guilty when I see my kid pick up something suspicious off the floor and put it in her mouth. Clean the house - then I feel guilty that P is running around me in circles because she just doesn't want to be cooped up any more. I now realize that motherhood is all about balance...balance between doing things and feeling guilty. lol

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  15. Elliot is so cute and he is getting big so fast!

    Good luck with the potty-training, that is a super hard process without a new baby to look after. For going out, I'd put my daughter in a pull-up for the longest time. Then when we switched to underwear I'd bring a potty, wipes, and change of clothes everywhere! But I never used any of that stuff, once she was potty-trained she never had a single accident. It was just me being paranoid. It takes a while to get used to them not being in diapers, I think it's a harder transition for the parent than for the kid.

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  16. Oh I hear you! Knowing it will get better is all that gets me through most days

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  17. Great post! Real with no frills... yet you are grateful for your precious boys! Every parent experiences difficult phases unique to the child & the age. It is humanly impossible to rejoice every second - but the hard moments can help you appreciate the good ones. Every Mom has to experience stuff for herself - I love that you are documenting these days - sadly I did not do so and have only a few photos to jog memories... Well done, Mom!

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  18. as far as i'm concerned, you're a superhero.....
    i spent so much of my son't first year feeling EXACTLY the same way you described...it's such a tough thing...you want it to get easier, and you know it will, but then when it does, it seems to go hand in hand with the growing up and your heart is torn in two. this hits hom eso much....i am thinking about you and sending you all the strength i've got over here...just keep being honest with yourself...your outlook is so refreshing. i know that's weird, since you feel like you're complaining but thre is so much BS around, new moms talking about how everything is perfect and amazing, and it IS but it's even more important to admit that lots of the time, it's really NOT.

    keep on keepin' on baby girl...you've got two of the sweetest, most beautiful boys i've ever seen. xo

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  19. It is hard. No doubt about it. And just because we complain or lament doesn't mean we love our lives or babies any less. We just need to get it all out. Blogs are great for that.

    You know, my sister just had a second baby and we were talking the other night. She said, "Why didn't you tell me how hard this was going to be." And I just laughed. You just don't understand until you're in the thick of two kids. There's no way to explain it. The love, the work, the stress, how overwhelming it could be. I would never try to talk to a mom who is pregnant with her second about how difficult it can be. But I do tell them that it is twice the love :)

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  20. I appreciate your honesty. Mother hood is hard and tiring most of the time, and it's okay to say that. :)
    May your little one start to sleep in longer stretches!

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  21. Look at that face! Great post. It's interesting to hear about life with a newborn...especially since I don't have any kids :)

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  22. Apparently I only blog on Tuesdays and Thursdays so don't feel bad! Quality, not quantity! I love this post and your honesty. Being a mom is the most challenging job by far but you sure seem to be rocking it!

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  23. i'm not in this stage of life. but someday i will be. that is a cute baby.
    im a new follower.

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  24. Beautiful post. I love your honesty. And you're being honest with yourself too. It's hard, but it's 'not that bad'. Life could be so much worse and is for so many. Thanks for sharing your thankfulness and encouraging me to do the same. The days just disappear before our eyes! PS. Blogging can take a backseat for a while!

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  25. GREAT post :) new reader from Doyle's days!

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  26. Thank you so much for this post. I'm going through the same thing. Averie is five weeks and Liam is two. Some days I feel like I'm going to lose it and that I seriously can't do it. Others are complete awesomeness. I needed to hear that it's not just me and that really life is pretty darn good. Good luck with the potty training...we aren't even attempting that until January.

    ;)

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  27. thanks for the honesty...i'm trying to get pregnant now, and wonder often what days will look like with two kiddos running around.
    good luck and i hope to read more about your day-to-day!
    jen
    closetrivalry.com

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