forty weeks - DUE DATE!

well it's happy due date day!  and that's a day to celebrate, right?  i mean c'mon, not everyone makes it this far & that's something to be happy about, amiright?  ok, i'm reaching.

i actually kinda sorta saw this coming.  at our early ultrasounds they dated this baby a few days later than what was based off my last missed period but since it was within the acceptable margin of error they just kept the due date from my LMP so we went with it.  it's all just a big estimate anyway, right?  stupid science.

we had our 40 week check up yesterday.  they offered to strip my membranes with the disclaimer of "if baby's ready & your hormones are just right & blah blah blah... it might kickstart labor within 12 to 48 hours."  well that was way too much disclaimer for me when it wasn't even my due date yet so we opted not to.  i am only dilated to a 2 & have been like that for two weeks now, so for me?  that means baby needs to keep hanging out.  and i'm ok with that, seriously.  yes we're in this weird inbetween stage of waiting but whatevs... he'll come out eventually, right?

we set up an appointment for a non-stress test on monday if he's not here yet & will think about induction at 41 weeks.  we'll see.

in the meantime i guess it's just another day to kick it with p-ray as my one & only & maybe another weekend o' fun with my two main men.  repeat after me:  no one has ever been pregnant forever... he'll be here soon enough :)

thirty-nine weeks. bumpdate!

{compare boy two belly to parker belly here}

who's feeling me with the pink?  i've found myself seriously drawn toward girly things for myself {these new yoga pants with the pink band, a new purple water bottle i picked up the other day} & i think it's because i'm about to be seriously outnumbered here pretty soon.  can't wait.  seriously, can't wait to be the ruling lady amongst my little world of men.  haha!

well guys, with parker i wrote my thirty-nine week update & then went into labor that night.  i'd be ok with that.  today would be perfect!  sam is home, baby sitters for p-ray are numerous on the weekend & all systems around here are go.  but, alas, i don't get a say in when this all goes down.  sometime in the next week, let's hope!

all you guys that left encouraging words yesterday rocked my socks.  seriously, i'm psyched.  it's awesome to hear so many great stories of beautiful labors to reassure me that it is possible.  i think it's best to go into labor hoping for the best & then finding out what you're capable of should things get rough.  but to assume that it's gonna be rough?  probably not smart.  so, big ups to you guys.  thank you!  i'm feeling much better & confident about this whole thing & absolutely can't WAIT to meet this baby.

so how am i doing?  i'm tired.  i'm not horribly in pain though, i've been taking it pretty easy so maybe that's given my back/pelvis a rest.  i have to pee with approximately every five sips of water i take & braxton hicks tease me constantly.  nothing regular though but it's exciting to know my body is doing sommmething.

anywho, no one's ever been pregnant forever right?  soon :)

{my blog facebook page AND instagram will be updated with labor statuses & baby announcements probably much sooner than the blog.  so if you're interested in seeing when this all goes down?  check 'em out!  thanks for all the awesome support, friends... we are SO excited!}

thirty-eight weeks. bumpdate!

{compare boy two belly to parker belly here}

so i just realized with parker i only had updates up to 39 weeks because he was born two days early.  that means i might only have ONE MORE of these updates before baby day, guys!!

and between you & me & the fly on the wall?  i'm kinda glad.  check that, reaaaalllly glad.  can i please have something else to blog about besides pregnancy... please?  give me a cute baby to take pictures of, show me parker's face when he meets his baby brother & for the love of pete, let's have some posts about getting back in shape, yes??

so as i type this i'm having braxton hicks like whoa.  nothing's been regular, i've never been inclined to time anything but my belly just seems to love to contract.  i'm a wee bit dilated & effaced which i know doesn't mean anything about when i might go into labor, but i'm thinking it might have something to do with how quickly things will go once labor does happen?  is this true, does anyone know?  parker's labor was only 11 hours, if this went faster that'd be cool with me.

i spent last night doing baby laundry & can now say baby boy officially has something ready to wear home once the time comes.  parker's bag is packed if he needs to quickly be sent over to someone else's house for the day.  i have a list of things to grab quickly as we run out the door but haven't packed anything just yet... i should probably do that.  just give us one more week baby boy, i think i could really be ready in one more week.

sidenote:  ya'll excited for the olympics?  i am.  when else in your life can you be excited about your country having the world's best shot-putter or triple jumper or synchronized swim team?  the olympics are rad & i hope the opening ceremonies are awesome tonight.  we're getting pizza & camping out with an opening ceremonies party... go crazy!

go usa!

thirty-seven weeks. bumpdate!

{compare boy two belly to parker belly here}

yeah, that says baby is the size of a "wintermelon"... not a typo.  what the freak is that you ask?  i have no idea.

full term mutha-truckas!!  baby boy is fully baked.  he could come at any moment & that would be just fine... for him.  as for me?  i think i could use two more weeks.  yes, i am more uncomfortable then EVER.  i am no longer waddling, i am full on limping from the back pain.  i feel like my legs are gonna give out when i get up from bed, the couch or a chair & i always feel like someone gave me a hard kick to the rear.  he is low & there's lots of pressure down there!  ouch.

but yeah, at the same time?  a couple more weeks would be great.  i'm in full nesting mode... i'm making progress on a few projects around the house i've been meaning to tackle & things are starting to get organized up in here.  we have the special perfume/dye-free laundry detergent & heaps of baby laundry is about to get washed.  i still need to pack a hospital bag & finalize parker-arrangements for our hospital stay.  i'm all caught up on editing family sessions from the photog biz & i'm ready to just relax for a while, so baby boy?  take your time... for now.

if i could pick a perfect day for him to come, it would be august 3, exactly one week early.  it's a friday so sam would have his week off {he's only taking a week... heaven help us!} bookended by two weekends.   that'd be nice, right?  so everyone think magical thoughts about august 3, mmk?  thanks.

in other news, progress continues on the bucket list.  parker is fully transitioned to his big boy bed, i squeezed another pedicure into my life & we took a day trip to the ocean.  the nursery is all set up to accomodate both boys & i've enlisted the help of a friend in making boy two a baby blanket.

some of the other stuff will have to wait til after baby.  i don't think i'm up for a day trip to mt. rainier or northwest trek at 37+ weeks pregnant as much as i would be if we went with me packing an infant in an ergo post-partem & the quilt i want to finish might be a better project for my mom & i to work on when she's here.  so there's that.

but really?  he could come at any moment & it'd be ok.  you guys, this is exciting!

thirty-five & thirty-six weeks. bumpdate!

{compare these bellies to parker bellies}

dudes, this baby is gonna be a full-term real baby human on friday.  that means he could legitimately come at any given moment and everything would pretty much be a-ok.  and you know what?  i'm pretty much ok with that.  we have stuff ready to go {a brand spanking new carseat is just waiting to be spit up in} & i bought a fresh pack of newborn onsies for the hospital & his coming home outfit.  what else do i need in order to be ready?  not much.

we're talking like two to three more weeks here.  CRAZYAMAZEBALLSNUTS.  seriously... is this real life?  i'm gonna have two boys within the next month & that blows my mind.  i'm so excited/scared/nervous/anxious & don't even know where to start.  i'm excited for the next stage of life. of growing my family of four & seeing my two boys together.  i'm excited to work out again & not feel like my entire body is broken when i attempt to sit up in bed.  i will miss baby movements in my belly & sleeping through the night but for the most part, i think i'm done being pregnant.  so we just gotta get through these next few weeks.

oh... and then there's the name issue.  i thought we were making progress but we're kinda back at square one.  it's just so harrrrrd.  it's so hard when you have a little boy already with a name you're absolutely in love with to come up with something "as good."  and now that we already know parker so well, how do we name someone we've never met & expect it to match up?  so i think we're waiting to see baby boy before we finalize things.  kinda exciting in a way?  look at me, flying by the seat of my pants!  wheeee!

anywho, here are bumpdate pics from the last two weeks because with the vacay & playing catch up it got lost in the shuffle.  the belly is getting bigggg.  i can feel it growing, i swear.  or at least, i can feel baby boy's little bum pushing my belly out to make more room for his chubby little self.  can't WAIT to meet him!!

thirty-four weeks. bumpdate!

{compare boy two belly to parker belly here}

so in, "yeah i'm kinda freaking out" news:  baby boy comes NEXT MONTH!!  and not even just ya know, sometime next month, it's like the beginning of next month.  this is getting exciting.

and i'm starting to feel ready.  i think it's because i've stopped trying to get ready... instead, i'm ready for the chaos that is headed our way.  i'm just ready for him to get here & then to be like, "ok, bring it on... let's do this."  only thing is i'm completely freaked out about labor.  with your first baby you have the ignorance of thinking it won't be that bad.  ha!  

with parker i figured since i was getting the epidural everything would be painfree & i just had a nice little hospital hotel stay to look forward to.  well no one told me the contractions leading UP to the epidural would be enough to make me want to never let sam touch me ever again for fear of being put in this situation again.  and then?  my epidural was a fail.  it didn't work through transition & pushing so i had a fun little surprise natural labor.  followed by a 4th degree tear.  woohoo!  good times.  so needless to say i'm a little scared this time around.  

at least i know i felt the worst pain of my life & i survived, right?  it wasn't fun but it was doable.  and really, from start to finish i was only in labor for 11 hours with pushing only lasting 45 minutes... chances are this time things will go faster.  such a short little window to get a lifetime of cute baby boy here in my life. 

less than six weeks left.  i can do it.

thirty-three weeks. bumpdate!

{compare boy two belly to parker belly here.}

the weeks are not slowing down & my to-do list isn't getting much shorter.  but i'm realizing i'll never really be "ready" for this little boy so shoot, bring him on.  i'm so excited to meet this little guy!

this week i feel like we officially moved into the "baby is trying to bust out of my belly" stage.  his movements are so big that i swear he's doing full flips in there & contorting my stomach all over the place in the process.  i love it though... i love feeling him squirm around in there & i get uneasy when he's been still for too long.  movement makes me happy!

sleep is tough.  i position myself to sleep & then literally don't move an inch all night until sam leaves for work in the morning.  movement in bed is so painful that i can't do it in my sleep.  when he wakes me up in the morning most of whatever side i'm laying on is asleep & throbbing so i have to push myself up, carefully shift everything to the other side {legs, belly, hips, supporting pillow} & lay back down.  IT HURTS.  it literally feels like every bone in my hips/pelvic area is broken.  the weight of my belly feels like a bowling ball & sometimes my hips pop & send sharp pains down my legs.  so that's fun.

then, when it's time to get up i have to lean on the bed or bathroom counter until my body wakes up or else my legs give out.  less than seven weeks left.

don't get me wrong, there are parts of pregnancy i love.  i love carrying this little boy with me everywhere i go & feeling him move, watching him grow via my growing belly & sporting the bump.  i do feel like i have a "pregnancy glow" just because of the excitement & anticipation that pregnancy brings.  it's fun.

but physically?  i do not make a good pregnant girl.  some people seem to go through their pregnancies in stride but my body really does not fare well.  so much that sam & i talk a lot about whether i could ever physically do this again.  he says no.  especially because this pregnancy has seemed to cause a bit more pain than with parker, so who knows what #3 would be like.  it's such a hard call to make.

anywho, the good news is that with parker my body seemed to recover quickly.  once he was outta there the ligaments tightened right back up & my pelvis seemed to go back to normal.  seriously hoping that's the case this time too.

you guys, less than seven weeks left.  that's like a month & a half.  we're gonna be meeting this little boy before we know it!

thirty-two weeks. bumpdate!

{compare boy two belly to parker belly here.}

and now we're in the less-than-two-months mark.  time?  you're a-flying!!

i am so excited for this baby to get here.  like, i'm starting to feel "ready."  we had our baby shower last weekend & got some awesome & much needed stuff for this guy.  my vision for our nursery is starting to take shape & i'm really falling in love with a certain name... sam just has to sign off on it {or think of a better one, ha!}.  our families are starting to make concrete arrangements for their visits & everything is starting to feel real & exciting.

also, it's comforting to know that if i was to go into labor tomorrow for some freak reason, baby boy would most likely be just fine.  i can't believe he's that big & strong!  i already have a real baby all ready to join our family in there, now we just have to wait for it to be time.

for some reason this last week brought on my first round of "wow, you have two more months still?  you're huge!" comments.  i got it at LEAST four times in the last week.  which is weird because i honestly don't feel big at all.  well, i mean, relatively speaking.  i feel like i've done a pretty good job staying on track with weight gain & i realize this belly has a ways to go still.  huge will happen in t minus two months, y'all.

also?  i just think that people don't realize how big the belly really does get at the end.  i mean seriously, you are carrying a full human being in there!  but still, people.  think before you speak.  when in your lifetime is it ok to tell a woman she is huge?  never!!

ok, moving on.

i've gotten a lot of people who have asked why i'm smaller with this pregnancy than i was with parker.  traditionally, your belly is bigger with your second pregnancy & for me, this hasn't been the case.  it hasn't just been luck or "beating the odds," i have actually gained less weight this time around.  i started this pregnancy about five pounds under my pre-parker weight {holla at ya stroller strides!} & have gained about five pounds less so far, so at this point with parker i was about ten pounds heavier.

reasons for this?  ummm, more self control?  less "woohoo, i'm pregnant let's eat two of everything!" mentality?  because i gained a lot right off the bat with parker for those reasons.  like, we're talking 14 pounds before i was outta the first trimester.  so that has something to do with it.  also for some really weird reason i have no appetite with this pregnancy.  i get full super fast & food still kinda leaves me feeling sick.  except chocolate milk & cookies, of course.  seriously, eating healthy has been a struggle for me this whole pregnancy since nothing besides junk EVER sounds good.  just ask sam, it's been real annoying trying to figure out dinner each night & we've eaten cereal for dinner way more than once.  and i think this kid is gonna come out expecting chocolate milk from the boob... oops.

so anywho, that's that.  every day i say i'm gonna eat healthier & drink more water & maybe even eat a salad.  but the thought of ranch or vinaigrette or honey mustard or ew, cucumbers, radishes & tomatoes make me wanna throw up.  and these are all things i've loved my whole non-pregnant life.  i'm sorry unborn baby boy!  bright side?  fruit is still delicious & i eat lots of that.  so maybe there's hope.

maybe.

{disclaimer:  i've gained a bit over 20 pounds so far & am on track to land somewhere between 25-30 pounds gained total... so i'm still gaining a healthy amount.  i'm not starving this kid & i promise i do eat real food still, even though it makes me gag, & i take my vitamins.  so i think we're gonna be just fine.}

thirty-one weeks. bumpdate!

{compare boy two belly to parker belly here.}

so i was kinda starting to freak out this last week.

i mean, seriously?  there are only nine weeks left.  nine single-digit weeks.  we have such a great routine right now, i get a generous break everyday while parker naps, he can feed himself & put on {and put away!} his shoes, and he can pretty much always communicate what is making him mad when there is a problem.  we're at a really good place & lately it's been a little hard to swallow how much all of that is gonna change in just two short months.  i was in a funk & honestly, feeling a little sorry for myself about how hard life is gonna be for a while.

yesterday i had a reality check.  i have no room to feel anything but completely blessed & grateful.

i was standing at an atm next to a bulletin board filled with want ads & for sale posts.  one post was a lady giving out her number asking for work around your house... cleaning, organizing, whatever, she just needed extra money to make ends meet.  another post caught my eye... a guy who was selling his car so he could buy his wife a special wheelchair since she had MS and her health was deteriorating.

i withdrew money from the atm & walked back to my car & drove home to my warm house filled with my amazing husband & happy little boy.  the whole way there i felt kicks from the healthy baby inside my belly & felt ashamed for feeling sorry for myself.  how could i possibly have room to complain when there are people all around me with real problems & legitimate reasons to feel sorry for themselves?  i felt like a jerk.

so now?  i am trying to look ahead with nothing but gratitude & excitement.  i mean, i'm still nervous to go through labor again {OUCH} but i am ecstatic to get this little boy here & start our lives as a little family of four.  yes, it's gonna be sleepless nights & days without a break all over again but it's gonna be so SO worth it.

on another note, MY BABY SHOWER IS TOMORROW!!  can i just say i have the best best-friends ever?  my girlfriends have put so much work into this shower & have snuck around making all sorts of plans & i am so beyond excited to see what they've been up to.  can't wait to share pictures!

and as for baby boy?  he is moving like crazy.  i swear he's moving more often than not & my belly is rolling all around from his ninja kicks & break dancing maneuvers 24/7.  babycenter.com says this is the peak of baby boy's movement in the belly since room gets tighter here on out, so i'm gonna enjoy this while it lasts.

i love his little activities so much!  just can't wait to see them in person.

thirty weeks. bumpdate!

{compare boy two belly to parker belly here!}

and then we were in the thirties with only ten weeks left... how can time fly by & crawl all at once?  i can't believe this baby will be here in just over two months.  so basically now is the time to be making to-do lists & start checking things off.  this kid will be here before we know it!

here's my pre-baby & summer-time bucket list:

i'll cross things off the list as they happen & will maybe even add a couple more as i think of them.  but it looks like we have lots to do in the next two months, no?  i won't beat myself up if we don't get to everything, lots of those are all-day saturday things & i'm sure a few of our saturdays will need to be spent catching up around the house, so it may not even be possible.  but i mostly want to just cherish these last few weeks with parker as our one & only before the family gets a new member.

T minus ten weeks & our lives will never be the same!

twenty-nine weeks. bumpdate!

{compare boy two belly to parker belly here}

as of today i am twenty-nine weeks!  whooooooa.  seriously?  the last week of my twenties.  how did we get here?  didn't i just post about being halfway through this pregnancy?  i swear that was yesterday.

you guys, i'm going to have a BABY here soon!  like, i don't think i've really been taking this pregnancy for real... it has seemed like it took forever for my big belly to get here, for the baby to make big movements & for this to actually all start happening.  but it's happening.  and as much as i sometimes feel like this baby will never be here, i'm starting to realize he'll be here before i know it.  scary AND exciting!!  i am not ready!!

although, we did purchase a couple pretty big baby things this last week... our double stroller & an ergo carrier.  i am way too ridiculously excited for both these things.  i'll probably wheel parker around in the stroller by himself just because i can & maybe i'll try to convince parker & sam to test out the ergo.  it can hold up to 45 pounds, ya know.  and then when it's time, i am so excited to take my two little boys out for walks in the sun in their shared stroller or wear this new little guy around in the ergo while finding ways to get parker out of the house.  two pretty big items that are gonna make life as a mom of two a little bit easier... can. not. wait.

but seriously time?  s-l-o-w down.

twenty-eight weeks. bumpdate!

{compare boy two belly to parker belly here.}

lots to report this week.

first off, we had our twenty-eight week check-up this week along with an ultrasound.  they wanted to see how baby boy is growing since he was a little on the small side {19th %-tile} when we had the gender scan at eighteen weeks.  good news:  he's in the 50th %-tile now!  he was moving around & kicking & also good news?  still a boy.  we never had an ultrasound this late in the game with parker so it was interesting to see how much bigger he is now & how cramped it is in there for him.  he's just gonna get more & more smooshed as the weeks go on though!

secondly, i described all my pelvic/back pain issues to the doctor & told her i'd self-diagnosed myself with symphysis pubis dysfunction.  she agreed!  i has it.  unfortunately, the only good this does is give all the pain i feel a name.  the only thing you can really do is wear a maternity pelvic support belt & wait for your baby to be born... so that sucks.

basically what happens is your ligaments relax too much & your pelvis separates way too much causing lots of instability in your hips, back & pelvis.  this causes horrible pain when rolling in bed, getting up from sitting down, trying to stand on one leg & getting dressed.  all things i experience.  and apparently 1 in 4 pregnant girls get it too.  do you have it?  misery loves company!

the good news is that with parker it went away pretty much as soon as he was born when my body quit producing relaxin & the ligaments tightened back up.  so that means only t minus twelve weeks of living with SPD!

lastly, the other night i stumbled upon a post i wrote when i was twenty-eight weeks pregnant with parker.  it was all about how afraid i was to change & lose my identity once i became a mom.  i was worried about the change from career-woman to mommy-woman & if i would hate who i'd become.  this week i will be writing a follow up to this post as an answer to myself about how i've changed... but basically?  i would change NOTHING about how i've changed.

twenty-seven weeks. bumpdate!

{compare boy two belly to parker belly here.}

ummm, heck yes another week has gone by.  and?  this is officially the start of our THIRD trimester!!  how this is possible?  no one knows.  but it means we're on the last & final stretch of this baby growin' process.

i really only have one complaint:  my whole body feels like it's falling apart.  that's it.  no seriously, i know i've complained about having a bad back/pelvis/hips/whatever before, but seriously, pregnancy does a number on those bad boys.  it takes me like five minutes to get up from the floor or out of bed & i'm starting to waddle already because when i push off my left leg a pain shoots up my back.  you guys, being pregnant makes me 80 years old.

how lame is that?

the good news is that once i am up & moving i feel pretty good.  i'm still making it to stroller strides & walking quite a bit & doing strength training & stretching & such as.  i'm gonna look into some spinning classes here pretty soon because that's what i did with parker up to 36 weeks & it was pretty much my favorite thing EVER.  after 36 weeks i swam until the day i delivered... i may be in an old lady's body but i'll be danged if i let it get away from me.

in other good news?  baby boy is moving in there lots & lots & i loooove it.  i can see my belly poke out from his little jabs now & then & every once in a while i swear he's doing flips because it feels like my whole belly just rolled over.

and in even more good news?  we get to see the little man this week in an ultrasound.  since we did his "big" ultrasound so early {about 18 weeks} he was measuring a little on the small side & they just wanna do a follow up to make sure they like the way things are progressing.  my doctor assures me there's no cause for concern {my belly is measuring right on} & this is totally being over-cautious but what do i care?  i'm just excited to see him again.  and sam gets to take a half day & come with me so that's pretty sweet too.

anywho, i hope everyone had an awesome mother's day weekend.  sam & p-ray went out of their way to make me feel loved & appreciated & it gave me serious heart flutters.  we're talkin' flowers & a handmade card {with traced toddler handprints... LOVE.} & my favorite meals & snacks & activities all weekend.  but sam informed me that starting tomorrow there will be no more special treatment.  at least he's honest.

so happy {belated} mother's day to all you amazing ladies out there & to all the moms that have influenced me in one way or another... there are lots of you & i'm grateful for that.

twenty-six weeks. bumpdate!

{compare boy two belly to parker belly here.}

so i tried to re-wear the t-shirt i wore at 16 weeks & well... no dice.  i think it reached my belly button?  anywho, i know my trusty rolling stones shirt lasted 40 weeks once before, it'll act as a stand in this time around when i need it to.  glad it can be making an appearance in this pregnancy :)

the last week of my second trimester went by pretty quickly, just like all the ones before it & i'm just getting more & more pregnant.  seems like that happens every week.  my belly's getting bigger & the kicks are definitely getting stronger.  this little boy is SO active.  it was so fun to have him in my belly on our trip to st. louis... even though we had to leave parker back at home, it kinda felt like we got to take one kid along as this little man kicked & punched the whole weekend.  sam said it was because he missed his big brother.

speaking of his big brother, parker loves my belly.  he loves "tickling the baby" and he even specially said "ni-night" to the baby in my belly one night when i was putting him down.  he likes to pull up my shirt to "see the baby" & it all makes me so happy.

as much fun as these parts of the pregnancy are, there are parts that are getting harder too.  i am so stiff when i wake up & it's like a five minute process to get out of bed.  it's so lame that i have such horrible pelvic pain with pregnancy... i pride myself on being strong & physically fit but thanks to pre-existing bad-back & hip conditions, pregnancy seriously just cripples me.  with the hip-spreading & ligament stretching, there is so much pressure on my lower back & i almost always feel a dull pain in my back.  sometimes it feels like my left leg is tingling or has fallen asleep & if i'm down on the floor with parker or trying to flip sides in bed it feels like my legs are being ripped off my body when i move.  so that's fun.

but it's all worth it right?  only three more months til we get to meet this little boy.  i think i'm gonna like him.

twenty-five weeks. bumpdate!

{compare kid two belly to parker belly here.}

i had my first emotional meltdown of the pregnancy.

blame it on being exhausted {up til 2 am the night before with a sleepless-sick kiddo}, on pregnancy hormones, on a week of having a sick/cranky/irritable/out-of-sorts kid, on being worried about an upcoming weekend away from said-kid... whatever.  it happened.  you know when you get to the point of just letting it all out?  crying because it feels good to cry?  yeah, that.  poor sam took the brunt of it.  he made a comment that was meant to be a joke {i'm sure he was making fun of me for using one of my million forms of social media...} but it struck me wrong {i'm sure i felt he was being "unsupportive"} & boom went the floodgates.  looking back?  it was an overreaction, it was a meltdown.  but for some reason it made me feel better.  weird, right?

usually i am pretty dang level-headed.  i can hold on to things & deal with them as they come & not let it all boil over.  i even pride myself on that... i'm mellow.  but on sunday little things added up to a lot.  stress about how the heck we're fitting two kids into one tiny room, how parker will adjust to getting kicked out of his crib in a month, worry over finding a sitter willing to babysit my sick kid so i can avoid calling into work sick again & last but not least?  worry about leaving parker this weekend while sam & i fly to st. louis.

so after getting all this out to sam & realizing not every one of those issues needed to be resolved right that second i felt completely fine.  actually, i felt silly for freaking out.  i got a text from our sitter saying she was available at the last second to watch parker so i wouldn't have to call in sick again & i'm starting to get really excited for a weekend alone with sam instead of worried.  i got a good night of sleep last night & i found some really cute shared-bedroom ideas on pinterest.  it's all gonna be fine.

i'm chalking this one up to being an overly-tired-hormonal-pregnant woman... i'm allowed to do that, right?  the answer is yes.  because i've made it 25/40ths through my pregnancy & am just now having my first breakdown.

i'd say that's pretty good.

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also?  random.org picked a winner from the jewel kade giveaway... yay nicole!

twenty-four weeks. bumpdate!

{compare kid two belly to parker belly here.}

let's hear it for v-day!!

yes, we've reached that magical week where if i was to go into pre-term labor, doctors would do everything they could to save my little boy.  however, at twenty-four weeks this little man only has approximately a 60% chance of surviving & about a 75% chance of suffering serious medical complications when he did, so let's not hope for labor anytime soon.  he needs to stay in at least another thirteen weeks & get himself fully baked.

but still?  pretty awesome that this baby in my belly is actually possibly capable of living outside the womb now.  makes him much more human-like, ya know?

and as he starts to move & hiccup & kick a whole lot more, i find myself getting more & more & more excited for him to come out.  i really wonder what he's gonna look like & if he's gonna be anything like parker or if he's gonna be a whole new ballgame.  parker was a super mellow baby & has been a pretty mellow toddler so everyone says this one is gonna be a hellian.  please tell me that's not how it works!

i'm starting to remember how moms get through labor & those first few weeks.  it's because you get so uncomfortable towards the end of your pregnancy that you would do anything to get that baby out & then you're just so happy to have an outside baby you're willing to do anything to keep them happy, am i right?  not that i'm to that point yet, but as the belly grows & pings of sciatica race down my leg, it's starting to come back to me.  i am so so so grateful to be pregnant & so excited for every single baby kick & milestone but y'all?  pregnancy is hard.  and i'm sure i'll have to post a couple times about that.  no one ever says it's not worth it, but yeah... it's hard.  that's all i'm sayin'.

well, this is our last day in san diego.  we fly back today & real life starts back up tomorrow.  i did a real crappy job of taking pictures with my big camera but took a ton with the iPhone.  just so much easier, ya know?  plus the last couple days were pretty overcast & there weren't really any great beach/sunset/amazing scenery photo-ops so whatcanyado?  but we've been having a blast & no one is ready to go home.  it's been an awesome little vacay for our last as a family of three & it's crazy to think that if we go somewhere next spring it'll be as a family of four.  crazy & exciting.

that being said... it's time for me to go squeeze every last bit of vacation out of each minute before we leave so wish me luck for safe travels back to seattle!

twenty-three weeks. bump.

{compare kid two belly to parker belly here}

first off, nothing that exciting happens at twenty three weeks except one thing.  it's one week closer to VIABILITY!  if a girl was to go into labor after twenty-four weeks, doctors would do everything they could to help that baby live since at that time, a baby ideally possesses everything it needs to live outside the womb.  but let's not pretend like that's gonna happen.  it's just exciting that i'm one week closer to having a baby that can survive on its own!  maybe more on this next week.

another week has gone by & pregnancy continues to be real.  my belly is getting bigger & my body is getting sorer.  my back hurts, i have sciatic & pelvic pain & i always feel stiff when getting up from sitting.  but i'm still running at stroller strides & able to do most the exercises.

also, despite the stupid anterior placenta that continues to prohibit sam from feeling baby's kicks {he has tried to feel him a few times but can't.  boo.}, i'm feeling lots of movement from the inside.  and oh my freaking goodness, i love it.  feeling baby movement is definitely the best part of being pregnant... it's like the more sore & achy you get the more baby kicks & jabs you get to feel.  so it all turns out to be ok in the end.  glad someone planned it that way.

and lastly?  the reality of having two real soon is starting to set in.  i get really emotional when i think about what that means & i sorta launched into a novel about it in this post that eventually got copied & pasted into a post of its own for next week.  as tears were streaming down my face while writing about not having everyday one-on-one parker time i realized "wow, this is kinda a topic all its own."  so that's coming.

but thank goodness it's friday.  we'll be spending our weekend getting ready for next week's vacay & counting down the hours til we leave for sunny san diego on wednesday.  sounds like an awesome weekend in the making, no?

twenty-two weeks. bump.

{compare kid two belly to parker belly here.}

duuudes.

i'm not sure why it's taken twenty-two weeks but it's really hitting me that i'm pregnant.  i feel pregnant.  i feel this little boy moving in there all the time & it makes me so crazy happy.  i walk into a room & strangers look at me & i'm about 75% sure they can tell i'm pregnant, not just eating too many peanut butter twix {which maybe i still am}.

every now & then i think about how we're having another boy & i get so excited.  i get so excited about being the mom of two little boys.  and, i've spent a lot of time this week wondering if he'll look like parker or if he'll be completely different.  will he be another bald baby?  will he have my dark eyes like parker or blue eyes like sam?  it's so fun to wonder & i've done a lot of that this week.

i spend a lot of time thinking about baby boy names too.  yes, i have a favorite.  no, i probably won't be talking about it here.  sam & i reserve the right to change our minds up to the last second & honestly?  sam's opinion is pretty much the only one i care about... no offense friends.  i will say we're having a hard time coming up with something we love as much as the name "parker."  but i also realize it's unfair to attempt to come up with something as good since we're so biased due to this hilarious little kid we have in our lives who makes the name so awesome.  does that make sense?  obviously we're not gonna just automatically love a new name as much as the name "parker" because well, we know parker.  all these other names are just names.  so i have to keep that in mind.

i'm still feeling pretty good.  although, after sitting for long periods of time {ie: internetting & blogging}, i do feel a little stiff & sore when i get up.  but i'm not having any problems running & working out... getting up early & getting there on time?  another story.  i'm a lazy morning girl.  but that has nothing to do with pregnancy.

some other things i really need to sit down & write about?

how scared i am of having two kids.  how i'm already anticipating missing having parker as my one & only & how i'm so scared of feeling like i have even less time to do all the things i would like to do in a day.  i promise these posts are coming... but this will have to do for now.  i'm trying to be in bed by midnight every night & if i get on those topics?  we're talking hours later.

bright side?

it's friday & it's the freakin weekend.  have a good one peeps.  {<-- hehe, easter pun!}

twenty-one weeks. bump.

{compare boy two belly to parker belly here.}

and then we were in the twenties.  

the belly starts to grow, you start to actually look pregnant & you get to feel baby a lot.  i like this part.  i'm comfortably pregnant.  i feel pregnant & i feel little boy's constant kicks & nudges all day long.  this is the fun part!  

well, my dwindling wardrobe isn't so fun but at least i can break out all the maternity pants & feel comfortable about the expanding waistline.  and i have been.  i've been living in maternity skinny jeans & yoga pants & most my t-shirts still fit.  so that's good.

as good as i am feeling, the fact that i have a pre-existing bad back is rearing its ugly head.  i have a history of sciatic pain & uneven hips which makes me feel like an 80 year old woman even when i'm not pregnant... so the expanding hips & the increasing belly-weight puts a lot of pressure back there that i have to be careful with.  i'm still able to run quite a bit at stroller strides but i definitely feel it the rest of the day.  hopefully my high-intensity work out days are not numbered!

i don't really feel like i have any legit "pregnancy cravings."  i mean, long before i was ever pregnant i loved chocolate, ice cream & all things carbs.  i just find myself giving in to those little guilty pleasures more often now that i'm pregnant.  this week has been all about chocolate milk & peanut butter twix.  YUM.  

we had an awesome weekend.  despite crappy weather, we spent a lot of time outside & had some good ol fashioned family time.  lots of errands, a couple meals on the town & a late night or two watching "arrested development" on apple tv.  thems is the makings of a good weekend muh friends.

happy monday!

twenty weeks. bump.

{compare kid two belly to parker belly here.}

half. way. there.

no, honestly?  i don't think this counts.  i mean, the first five weeks of pregnancy you don't even know you're pregnant {technically the first two you're not pregnant... but let's not nit pick details} & aside from a little sickness, you're still feeling fairly normal.  well, normal in the sense that your body hasn't completely morphed into belly-torpedo mode & moving it around isn't a total chore.

the second "half" of pregnancy is a whole new ballgame.

it's where it all gets legit.  i mean seriously?  do you see that belly up there?  it's actually there this week.  i'm having to really get creative with clothes & i find myself shopping the maternity section every visit to target.  sleep is a little sub-par because turning from side to side takes some extra maneuvering in order to avoid the round ligament pain.  but generally?  i'm still feeling really good.

i'm feeling lots of baby kicks, despite the discovery of an anterior placenta.  they just feel a little more muffled.  baby kicks are THE best.  it's like this little inside joke going on between me & my little guy.  even if you tell someone they're happening, they don't really know.  the little kicks i'm feeling are just our thing.  there is nothing like feeling your baby move inside your belly.

and all of a sudden sleep is my new favorite hobby.  i got 8-9 hours of sleep every night for like six nights in a row & was still dying to nap come nap-time.  baby growth spurt?  maybe.

anywho, we're starting another weekend!  my mom has been here visiting all week & i think we're gonna show her some sort of good time.  there'll probably be some seattle-sight-seeing & some good-food-eating.  all things i'm really into.  hopefully there will be lots of picture-taking because i've really slacked at that lately.

happy friday friends.