so in, "yeah i'm kinda freaking out" news: baby boy comes NEXT MONTH!! and not even just ya know, sometime next month, it's like the beginning of next month. this is getting exciting.
and i'm starting to feel ready. i think it's because i've stopped trying to get ready... instead, i'm ready for the chaos that is headed our way. i'm just ready for him to get here & then to be like, "ok, bring it on... let's do this." only thing is i'm completely freaked out about labor. with your first baby you have the ignorance of thinking it won't be that bad. ha!
with parker i figured since i was getting the epidural everything would be painfree & i just had a nice little hospital hotel stay to look forward to. well no one told me the contractions leading UP to the epidural would be enough to make me want to never let sam touch me ever again for fear of being put in this situation again. and then? my epidural was a fail. it didn't work through transition & pushing so i had a fun little surprise natural labor. followed by a 4th degree tear. woohoo! good times. so needless to say i'm a little scared this time around.
at least i know i felt the worst pain of my life & i survived, right? it wasn't fun but it was doable. and really, from start to finish i was only in labor for 11 hours with pushing only lasting 45 minutes... chances are this time things will go faster. such a short little window to get a lifetime of cute baby boy here in my life.
less than six weeks left. i can do it.