Thursday, February 13, 2014

on raising elliot | how #2 has been different.


oh this kid.  where to start, where to start?

elliot has kinda gotten the shaft in the way of documenting his childhood.  parker not only has a picture to go along with almost the entire first two years of his life but a freaking blog post detailing the events & milestones of each day.  elliot has definitely fallen victim to the quandary of being a documentary-less second child.  

his first eighteen months {which he turns in five days... wut!?} have been different than parker's.  i spend a lot of time wondering if it's all because of his personality or if it's because he's a second child.  i remember parker being so easy going, independent & self entertaining. i think elliot may be what people call a "strong-willed" child, haha.  it took him til almost a year to sleep through the night & his temper is nothing to shake a stick at.  he goes from zero to sixty in 0.2 seconds flat.  he will react quickly & strongly & then get over it just as fast.  


he is the sweetest little boy.  he wants nothing more than to snuggle & be held all. the. time & if he had it his way i would join in on everything he's doing at all times.  he sees no need for me to make dinner, clean house or fold laundry, as far as he's concerned it should be me and him, 24/7.  i'll admit, he has a point.  with parker it was me & him, all the time.  elliot only gets half of me 90% of the time.  and i wonder how much that has to do with all of it.

elliot doesn't talk very much.  he says a handful of words (mama, dada, uh oh, nana, papa) and animal sounds.  he signs & gestures & definitely understands what we're telling him ("elliot, go put this toy in the toy box.  go put this in the garbage" done & done) but he sees no need to attempt words.  again, second child thing?  i don't sit alone with him near as much as i did with parker looking through books & asking him to point out the pictures.  sure, we read books but it's me & both boys & parker's quick to point things out & move on.  elliot likes to observe & squeal in excitement & watch parker figure things out.


he has so much personality.  he does the funniest things & when he flashes his smile & those little dimples come out, my heart melts.  i think we're gonna have our hands full teaching him how to deal with that little temper of his but i think his strong personality will be one of his greatest qualities.  i hope it means he's passionate & driven & determined.  that's what i see in him right now... a little boy who knows what he wants & isn't afraid to show that he wants it.  

if there's one thing that's for sure, it's that my heart holds a place for him just as equally as parker.  i was always so afraid i wouldn't know how to love another little boy as much as parker & somehow your heart just finds the space.  or maybe it doubles in size.  he is every bit as much my little buddy as parker is & the two of them are starting to become the best of friends.  they hold hands while walking around the grocery store & today they stopped traffic for giving each other impromptu hugs while standing in line at costco.  

i fully expect nothing short of amazingness from this little guy.  he commands attention when he walks in a room & isn't afraid to tell you like it is.  i know that sounds funny in regards to an eighteen month old who doesn't talk but that's elliot for ya.

love this kid to pieces.


17 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. thanks Holly! I tend to agree but i'm biased ;)

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  2. Sounds like Brayden. He is VERY strong willed and temperamental.

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    1. yeah, I always thought kids were a reflection of parenting style... welllll, then i had elliot. haha!

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  3. Shelley did not speak much for the longest time. Nana was concerned she was behind in her development. Not so. Maybe the 2nd kiddo just does not feel the need to verbalize since everyone else is doing a lot of talking & his needs are filled without saying much. Strong-willed is good, too.

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    1. yeah, I always remember you saying that mom. I'm sure this is similar :)

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  4. I think the 2nd time around, as a parent, you are much more relaxed. You allow things to happen and progress on their own. My 2nd is a spitfire. She is fierce and we knew it immediately. She is now 5 and just as intense as she was the day she was born. I love her immensely. I also believe, like you, that it's their determination and zest of life. She is a talker but is ok when others do for her (i.e. her older brother!). Ben & Emilia are the best of friends and I love watching them together. Elliot probably knows what he is doing! Enjoy! Strong willed isn't a bad thing.

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    1. I completely agree! i hope he takes this passion in life & applies it to everything he does :)

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  5. He is soo stinkin' cute! And I am a second child, and me and Elliot sound a lot alike! :)

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    1. I have a lot of respect for strong-willed, bold personalities... I'm super laid back & pragmatic & sometimes wish I was that passionate, making decisions on a whim-type person. It'll be fun to see what kind of teenager he is ;)

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  6. Oh boy!! Little Miss Ivy (our #2) is soooo similar... SO much more demanding, so much clingier, whingier, strong willed, etc etc etc!! Perhaps it's a survival instinct of being a second born!! I believe these characteristics will make them strong and successful in the future! :) Miss Ivy will soon be a middle child so we'll see where that leaves her!
    It's funny the lack of documentation too! I often feel like I need to purposefully take photographs of just Ivy...but then I see Scarlet wanting to be part of the action to and obviously don't want to leave her out!! Oh the dynamics!!

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    1. YES! And I have to remind myself to take elliot-only pics a lot too. luckily parker couldn't care less if he was in it or not so that makes it a bit easier :) congrats on #3!!

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  7. He sounds SO similar to my son (who is our #1 and has had our undivided attention for 3 years). He didn't sleep all the way through the night until he was 2 and he didn't say a word for the longest time...his first word didn't come 'till he was 16 months. And the others were SLOW to follow. We've read books, etc. etc. since he was tiny. His pediatrician was concerned about his lack of words, but all of a sudden at 2 1/2 they started flowing. And they haven't stopped. He's turning 3 tomorrow and now says things to me that I didn't even know he knew! His memory is crazy and he's SO stinkin' smart. He is also strong willed and INTENSE as I describe him. Whether it's loving intense or temper intense it's 150%. He was the baby/young toddler that was only happy when he was being held/played with. But he has continued to gain independence and now loves playing by himself. So funny how kiddos have different personalities. We've got baby #2 on the way and I can't wait to see how he/she is similar or different. I'm kinda glad I got a "high maintenance" one to start, so I wasn't blindsided with #2! ;)

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    1. that is amazing... that all sounds exactly like elliot!! that's awesome about his vocab now, i hope e's the same way!! thanks for sharing :) and congrats on #2!!!

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  8. gosh, i LOVE seeing blog posts of yours and especially now of Elliot! my dawson is almost 16 months and he is EVERYTHING how described E. except for the talking thing, but that's my almost 3 year olds deal. he has a speech delay and that's because 1. he is stubborn and 2. he was pissed that his little brother came along at 18 months. both stubborn, ornery and strong willed boys i have over here. however, they are the BEST of friends now and i just love how they miss each other when i have one or the other and how they hug and play with each other. LOVE :) dawson has also fallen victim to the pictureless second child syndrome. i haven't even filled out his baby book and have barely taken pictures of him and i'm almost always two weeks or so late in taking his monthly pictures. poor dude. i'm so stoked you are blogging again :):)

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  9. I don't think I have taken the time to tell you how adorable your boys are! And how much I LOVE your photography!!

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  10. I often felt a little sorry for my second before she was even born, as i was scared that she would feel less important joining an already busy household where as her brother was the star of the show for two years before she came along. But lately I have felt more inclined to think of it as such a blessing for her that she joined a family where she has an adoring older brother who looks out for her, parents who aren't quite as inexperienced ;) and will always have someone to play with and someone to look up to in her brother. It's actually such a gift! And while I do still sometimes look at her and think, wow I knew absolutely everything that Cruz did at her age and she sometimes gets lost in the shuffle of family life and I'm not sure if she has rolled over yet or if she could sit up because I've never even tried to sit her somewhere, you know? But it's not bad, just different. :)
    Your son is so incredibly handsome, that perfect stage of baby emerging into toddlerhood. Strongwilled just like my son which is exhausting to the core yet so incredible to see their strength.
    (and your photos, oh your photos! They are stunning!! xo

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