Wednesday, May 23, 2012

how "mommy-hood" has changed my identity.

when i was twenty-eight weeks pregnant with parker i wrote this post about "keeping my identity" & wondering how becoming a mom might change me.  i was all up in my life as a career woman at the time & wondered if i'd get "dumbed down" by a life of diapers & spit up.  i came across that post last week & now, at twenty-eight weeks pregnant with parker's little brother, i want to write a follow-up to all the questions i asked back then... because now i know.

here's the short answer.  i know more about myself now & who i am than i ever did back then.

these last two years of being a {mostly} stay at home mom really have changed me & honestly?  the only thing i miss about that full-time career woman is the bigger paycheck.  but getting to stay home with parker & watch him grow has made up for that in amounts way more priceless than dollars.

ok, that's the cheesy short answer.  here's some other ways i've changed.

i discovered my love for photography & started a business.  i've always been an obsessive picture-taker & always insisted on taking a million pictures of every occasion.  but when parker was just a couple months old i realized i wanted to take this passion to the next level & we purchased my first dslr.  it started with millions of pictures of parker but now i'm on my second camera & have since shot countless families, seniors, kids & a handful of weddings.  if it wasn't for staying home & photography blogs & a cute little model to learn on, i'm not so sure any of this would have ever happened.  i definitely see a long life as a photographer ahead of me & hope this is just the beginning... i think it's something i am good at & something i strive to be better at.

also?  this might not be true for most moms but i feel like i've discovered a lot about my own personal style & fashion sense since becoming a mom.  when i dress up, i dress with more purpose & my home is decorated much more to my liking than it ever has been {although it's always a work in progress!}. pinterest & fashion blogs & lots of trips to target & the mall probably have something to do with this.

when i was pregnant with parker i think i thought all moms were destined to lives of yoga pants & slippers & although this really is what i wear 75% of the time {it's actually quite glorious}, i still find times to dress up & look nice.  i still clean up well.  i still get to curl my hair & wear heels {if i want} to church on sundays or for my one day in the office on thursdays.  this is plenty for me.  it turns out moms wear yoga pants & flip flops or slippers all the time because it is COMFY.  who knew?

when i was pregnant with parker i worried about losing touch with current events.  becoming a mom-in-a-bubble.  this is something i work on.  i watch the news, i read & follow all kinds of newsfeeds on facebook.  i think i have a pretty good idea what is going on in the world around me & i enjoy talking about current events with sam every night.  it would be easy to tune all that out & worry only about the number of dirty diapers parker had that day but this is something that's important to me & i hope it always is.

and lastly?  what i didn't know about myself back then is how much i could love another little human being.  i didn't expect that i would honestly feel like i love my kid more than any one in the whole world could possibly love theirs.  i didn't know that watching sam be a dad would make me fall in love with him over & over again everyday & that being a family kicks the crap out of being a married couple.

basically, all my fears i had back in the day were unnecessary.  mommy-hood is what you make of it.  i think it's important to make time for yourself & put yourself first when it's appropriate because no one should ever feel like they've lost their identity.  of course i have my daily struggle with fitting in all the things i have to do versus what i would like to do but that happens with kids or no kids, right?  you just have to figure out your priorities.

turns out being a mom is a pretty good thing to be.  i highly recommend it.


  1. Very well said. It just gets better through the years - when you are privileged see your kids grow up and be amazing parents of their own little ones! oxox

  2. I love your positive attitude with everything you take on. It is one of those personalities (well, blog wise) that just draws you in and makes you smile. I feel the same way about becoming a mama although I do have to get dressed each and every day and go to the office and drop my little one off at daycare. I'm still me and I'd like to believe that I'm a way better version of me.

  3. Excellent post, And I totally agree! ...I just wish I didn't have to work so much!

  4. Love this post! I'm looking forward to being a SAHM mom this summer and my friends think I'm crazy for giving up my job.

  5. I love your positive outlook on this! You couldn't have said it any better, you always know exactly how to put it out there. You are such a good mom, a fun mom and an AMAZING photographer. You are very inspiring and it's fun to watch you blog about your fun life and that handsome little boy of yours. Can't wait to see how how you blog about the new little mister :)

  6. Love this post, Amy! I've only ever known you as a mother so it was weird reading your old sort of sounded like you, but it was the "Amy-before-she-was-a-mom" version of you! I agree with you that motherhood as just made me a better version of myself. It's the greatest! And I love that when we get together we usually never complain about being moms...we just talk about how lucky we are!

  7. Hehe, I am convinced I love my son more than anyone has ever loved there child in the whole world, ever! Great post, thanks for sharing you feelings on this.

  8. So true! Great post. I also had fears about becoming a mom and looking back, it's so different than I ever thought. So much better.

    I love being a mommy and feel like a more whole person because of it.

  9. I love this post! I think being a mom is pretty great too, and I also found a love for photography once I started staying home. Between my *awesome* kids and my photography I'm a pretty happy camper these days. I told my hubby recently I think this is the happiest I've been.

  10. I feel the same way. :) It's so weird looking back and reading stuff I wrote before I was a mom! I feel like I wasn't even me yet then.

  11. Such a beautiful post! I am privileged enough to stay home with my little six month old son and I could not agree more with your thought out feelings...especially being a family kicking the socks off being a married couple. Who knew it could get even better. I love it!

  12. These posts make my day. Seriously. I've spent a lot of time going back and forth on whether I reeeeeally want kids and this post addresses a lot of things I've always been afraid of. Keep em coming :)


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