Wednesday, April 11, 2012

on having another boy.

i'm not gonna lie.  there is no way i could be more excited about having another boy.

before we knew what we were having i got a lot of "are you hoping for a girl?" comments, which i totally understand.  it seems like you should naturally want one of each, right?  it's the all-american family.  i usually gave the honest answer of "i'm gonna be happy either way."  boy or girl, it was gonna be our baby & the newest member of our family & that baby was gonna be what we were supposed to have.  and like most parents, we spent our time praying that we would see a baby with a healthy heartbeat & well developed organs & bones at the ultrasound... gender was an afterthought.

but if i had been answering completely honest?  i kinda secretly hoped for another boy.  i even felt guilty for feeling that way.  i told sam multiple times how bad i felt for wanting another boy.  how worried i was of feeling disappointed at the ultrasound if we didn't see little boy parts.  so the whole way to the ultrasound i gave myself a pep talk about how having a girl would be awesome.  but as soon as that ultrasound started?  i started looking for boy parts & even though i wasn't sure i saw them, i knew it was a boy.

because the weird truth is?  i had already bonded to that baby in my belly as a boy.  back at about ten weeks i had an overwhelming feeling that baby #2 was a boy & i even had a feeling about his name.  over the next few weeks i discounted it as just weird emotions so i gave it little weight in the gender outcome & my predictions.  but that moment has stuck with me & so has the name.

i have no doubt that if this baby had been a girl she would have fit right in & turned our world upside down with her awesomeness.  but i am just so extremely happy that parker is going to have a little brother.

and there is something to be said about brothers.  i can't wait to raise two boys side by side & watch them go through life together.  i can't wait to be the mom of two boys.  i've always felt like there is this special bond between a mom & her son & i never knew just how amazing it was until these last two years.  and now that is going to be magnified x2?  i can't even.

now i will say this.

i'm not completely sure we're done having babies... we'll just have to make that call a year or two down the road.  and for baby number three?  i would TRULY, honestly, 100%, completely love a boy OR a girl.  in fact maybe i'd hope for a girl for number three.  i do hope to someday experience buying little cardigans & dresses & sweaters & own something in my house that is the color pink.  two protective big brothers & a cute little sister sounds absolutely perfect.

but for now i can't wait for little brother to get here.  i can't wait to see what he looks like & how he's going to be his own person.  i can't wait to see parker's reaction to him & how they interact as two little boys.  i can't wait for them to get into mischief together & for them to form their own personalities.  i can't wait for the epic wrestle matches that will occur in our living room with their dad & to watch him with his two little boys.

at this moment?  i just couldn't be happier.

31 comments:

  1. I think there is just something about it, wanting your little one to have a sibling of the same gender. As much as I hope to have a boy someday, I know I would love for Ryann to have a sister. It almost makes me want four kids, two of each. HA. But I suppose we'll have to just wait and hope for #2 and see how that goes.

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  2. I know what you mean about giving Parker a brother - it's just so amazing to know what a bond they will have. We're not having any more babies this minute, and although I sometimes dream the American dream of having a girl and a boy, I think that P having a sister would be outstanding. (Although I'm dying to spike little boy hair and put them in cute hats and vests and a tie....ok maybe I didn't make up my mind)

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  3. That is so sweet that it's really what you wanted! I think two brothers will be so sweet for you. :)

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  4. I was the same way...super excited for another boy, though, right now, since we are still working on the sleep thing, if you ask me about another baby I will say no...but maybe, in a year or so that would change, and then...I think I'd be ready for a girl. The boy has been awesome with his little brother, and I am very very much looking forward to the day where they can play and get into trouble together!

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  5. love this post and love how completely honest you were! two little boys are going to be awesome! and having two of the same gender is definitely understandable and desirable. we have the two boys and one girl so i am secretly hoping baby #4 is a girl but would be so happy either way!

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  6. oh my! girl...I could have EASILY written this entire post myself...I felt the exact same way! I am THRILED to have a 2nd boy 21 months from my first :) it's pretty awesome watching the two of them together all ready.

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  7. i hear ya! i have always wanted a girl. sadly, i was a little bummed that rawley was a boy in the beginning. ok, i cried a little ;) but now? i am SO happy to have a boy. now that i'm pregnant again (only 12 weeks) i am hoping for another little boy for most of the same reasons you explained here. it's amazing having a boy. i love that he is such a softy, sweet, gentle, snuggly boy around his mamma but wrestles and rough houses with his dad already. it's so fun! but honestly, i'm hoping to see a perfect nt scan today and hear a perfect heartbeat tomorrow at my doctors appointments. that truly is what is important right?

    on a side note, my husband has a daughter from a previous relationship and she is the ONLY girl on his side of the family out of 11 grandchildren. only girl! this family produces boys like no other so maybe luck is on my side ;0)

    congrats again!

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  8. Amy, I am right there with you! If we have a second baby I honestly want another boy. I would love for my little Mason to have a brother and I just see myself as a mom of boys. It's what I know, I guess! :)

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  9. Mom of boys rock!! :) I think if I had a girl, I'd be nervous I would be too much of a Tomboy for her. It would be my luck I have a frilly princess (which I would love with my whole heart) but would have nothing in common with.

    E and I already have a love of all things outdoors and sports. It's amazing.

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  10. Yep. You pretty much mirrored my post about this exact same subject. Boys are the best! :-)

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  11. I love your honesty- so happy for you! :)

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  12. I feel totally the same way, except about my girls. How funny! I would have been over the moon for a boy, but I was secretly hoping for another girl :). I do think we are probably done having kids though, so I may never experience having a son (until my girls get married I guess! Ah!).

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  13. What a sweet post! You will be the funnest mom of two boys!

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  14. I think a house full of boys would be wonderful. I never wanted a girl, but after the loss of our second pregnancy we had a strong feeling it was a girl and so now I picture my family having a girl in it some day. If I get my way and have four kids, one of them is bound to be a girl, right???

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  15. I totally identify with this. When I was pregnant with #1, I thought I really wanted a girl (because, hello, freaking adorable clothes!)... but I have LOVED being the mom of a boy. When I think about #2 now, I also feel a little guilty that I really want a boy so they can be mischievous little men together! Karma will probably give me a girl... heh! I'll love any baby I get!

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  16. You told me you secretly wanted a boy way back in 1st tri, so I was ECSTATIC for you when I say you were having a healthy baby boy again. So sweet!

    I secretly want a girl this time, but I don't really care either way. That's why we're not even finding out, it just doesn't matter :)

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  17. Beautiful, Amy! I love how open and honest you were; love that you are so happy!

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  18. I completed understand. I knew very early on that I was carrying a girl. I'm super excited that we'll have one of each, but I can't help but be just a little sad that Liam won't have a little brother :)

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  19. Love this post - beautifully written! You have the gift to write. Been missing you guys so much... So happy you are so happy! oxox

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  20. This is such an exciting time; I'm so happy for you! It takes me back to when I just found out the gender of our first little one! I don't think I had ever been happier (with the exception of her birth of course) :o)

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  21. I was the exact same way. Both of the grandmas were rooting for a girl but all I wanted was another little boy. Wish granted. Dealing with the grandparents "disappointment" not getting a girl that time around was strange and a little upsetting. Of course now everyone loves number two (Mason) for who he is :).

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  22. There is really nothing better-- Niall LOVES his little brother so much and it melts my heart. I'll leave Brendan in the swing while I do some chores, and see Niall holding his hand, pointing to all of his toys saying "That's a truck, Brendan!" "That's a turtle, Brendan!" I just know they're gonna be so close all through life.

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  23. Totally get ya, I felt the exact same way when getting preg with my second son. Nothing like watching to brothers close in age grow together, loooove it and you will too!!

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  24. Yep - totally get it. I kinda want #2 to be a girl. I would be pleased as punch with a boy - but to have a sister close in age to our daughter would be so great.

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  25. This is so sweet. I hope I'm half the mom you are when I start having babies!

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  26. I LOVE that picture of him with the trains! My son loooooves Thomas and makes long trains like that every day! Love love love being a boy mommy!

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  27. Ok you expressed the exact feelings that I am feeling right now @ 10 weeks. Totally having this overwhelming feeling that I am having another boy and am starting to bond with the baby as a boy even. I would be happy with either but the thought of Zane having a little brother to wrestle & play with. You took the words right out of my mouth. :) Knowing I won't find out for another 10 weeks is torture to me... and I am thinking I have to give myself that little pep talk on the way to find out too!

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  28. I don't know what baby #2 is yet, but like you felt, I am kind of hoping for another boy. I was kind of in denial about have a "preference" and felt guilty about it, until you posted that you were having another boy. And then those feelings of wanting two boys came flooding in. I will be over the moon happy with a little girl, but I am kind of dreaming of having two little boys :)

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  29. There's something really special about siblings of the same gender, there's just an incredible bond there. SO excited for you and your precious boy, he will be beyond adorable as a big brother!!

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  30. Proud 2-boy Mama here! I totally get it.

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  31. I always imagined myself with a daughter. I have THREE boys! Such is life :)

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