i think every artist goes through stages of like & dislike of their own work. we are our own worst critics, for sure. we simultaneously love our own work & hate it. i keep pushing in the direction that is "my style" while also admiring so many great photographers who inspire me to take a new approach.
sometimes i have editing schizophrenia. dull, soft, dreamy tones or saturated, bright & happy colors? as artists we reserve the right to change our minds. i admire those photographers who are super consistent. they have a style you could pick out of a line up because it is just so "them." that's what i'm striving to be someday. i wonder if i'll ever feel like i've arrived? like if i EVER feel like my pictures look exactly the way i want them to look. it's so weird to have an idea in your head that you're working towards & just not be there.
don't get me wrong, i have seen significant improvement in my stuff over the last two years since doing my photo a day project, but i think i will ALWAYS be working towards that idea of where i see myself in my head. every now & then i really do love my stuff. i look at it & think well yeah, that's pretty good. but i promise, in my head i'm saying i just got lucky. i couldn't do it again if i tried. i think that's a combo of the magic of photography as well as my own naysaying. photography is magical because a certain moment really can't be recreated. i really couldn't do it again if i tried because that exact moment will never, ever happen again. at least not exactly as it once was. so i really did just get lucky.
photography is just a combination of being in the right place at the right time & being technically skilled enough to do the right thing at the right moment. i think that's why we photographers get so obsessed. it's a thrill. we really are just junkies trying to catch that high we feel when we nail a shot. it's addicting.
it's exciting to see how far i've come since first picking up a dslr in 2010. it's exciting to think how far i could continue to go if i keep pushing on. it's safe to say my obsession is alive & well & probably at an all time high. i'm also excited to have revitalized this blog so i can get these thoughts out of my head at 2 am. even if it is just rambling.
and now for some pretty pictures. ;)