Friday, October 28, 2011

is this the part where i get emotional?

when parker turned one?  i took it like a champ.

i was so excited for what my baby was becoming that i never had any of those "holy crap where did that first year go?  where is my baby?" emotional meltdowns.  i embraced my emerging toddler & waved bu-BYE to those itty bitty baby days.

but today?  the day where parker turned eighteen months & one day?  it hit me.  he is growing up & there is nothing i can do to make it slow down.  he's now closer to a two year old than a one year old & pretty soon i won't be tracking his age in months.  the years will fly by.  he'll stop blowing me kisses & squeezing my legs for hugs & soon enough, he'll be walking out my door to college.  he won't fit in my lap for stories or stand at my feet with his arms in the air saying "up! up!"  i'll probably feel weird tickling under his chin to make him giggle & he'll lose interest in matchbox cars.

these days are numbered.

why is this hitting me now?  because i think i'm realizing just how fast time can fly when you're having fun.  these last six months since parker's birthday have seriously been a blink in time.

right now?  parker isn't malicious.  he doesn't know how to intentionally hurt anyone & he doesn't know anyone is capable of intentionally hurting him.  he doesn't know what this world has in store for him & all he knows is his mommy & his daddy & how he loves his blanket.  how he loves stories & puppies & throwing sawdust in the air.  he starts his mornings with a small dose of elmo & loves to point at my nose & my ears & my eyes while i sing to him before bed.  right now?  he is perfect.

we don't fight, he's never called me a mean name & he's never talked poorly of anyone.  those things will change.  i won't be able to lift him up anymore & he'll go places without me knowing where he is.  and the kicker?  is that parker will spend the vast majority of his life not even living under our roof.

someday i'll have to let him go.

39 comments:

  1. way to depress me! on top of all that? we'll get older too.

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  2. Oh my! That brought tears to my eyes, my boy is 14 months and I was only sayin yesterday how he's not a little helpless baby anymore. He's strong and independent and I just want him to stay happy and innocent forever. Not gunna happen, we got all the fun stroppy years to come,lol.

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  3. Maddox is right behind Parker turning 18 mos & I feel the exact same way!! Life moves way too quickly!! Still waiting to meet the guy/girl who can freeze time :)

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  4. aaand i'm crying. i was just talking about this with a friend. ruby is almost 8 months & i tear up about it all the time. i'm so proud of her learning & growing and being able to watch her do all those things is so much fun. but yeah, i think about all of the growing up she will still do & can't believe how quick it will go. it seems like you do your best to enjoy every second of it, so you'll be able to look back on it all without regrets. great post! :)

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  5. There is something SO different about 12 months and 18 months. I can't even imagine how much I will cry when my baby turns two. because that's just REALLY big.

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  6. *Sigh* You totally just burst my bubble :( But! We can totally take comfort in the fact that it's only going to get MORE fun.

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  7. It is SO hard!! I noticed a BIG change in Isabelle this year going to 2nd grade. Suddenly, she gets embarrassed when I drop her off and kiss her in front of her friends. WHAT?!! Oh, they grow up so fast. That's why we have to cherish these little baby moments so much. On the up side, there are a lot of fun things that happen as they get older, too like having real conversations with them, really hanging out. I love that part of Isabelle growing up.

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  8. It's so tough watching them grow up. Two is tough because it comes with the temper tantrums, but talking to them makes up for it. The stuff that comes out of their mouths is freaking hysterical. It makes losing our babies a little better. Almost.

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  9. I'm right behind you…Zion will be 18 months in a couple of weeks and I don't want to think about it. I just want to freeze time.

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  10. what a beautiful picture of him! A beautiful post. The hard part of parenting.. they grow up. I don't have kids yet, and that part still scares the crap out of me!

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  11. man... you had to make cry and i don't even have kids yet....

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  12. I've done a great job not getting sad about Mason getting older and missing the old days and trying to hang on tightly, but I'm pretty sure you just wrecked that. SAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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  13. ohhhh my lord, that made me cry. what a beautiful post!

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  14. Dude my kid is 7 weeks old and I already think about this. Soon I won't be the most important person in his life and my husband and I will be uncool losers who don't know anything. Totally sucks, but I have been praying for toughness during that time!

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  15. umm thanks. now I just realized Jackson is right where Parker is. I'm crying. Great post girl. How time files and how sweet it has been.

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  16. someday you will have to let him go, but that day isn't today.... so hold on tight to your sweet little boy! :)

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  17. Awww, honey. The best is yet to come. I promise.

    p.s. Brigham turns 18 months in 5 days. I think I tell myself that just to keep from crying.

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  18. Agh! Tears! Mine turns one on December 10...bracing myself.

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  19. okay. how about you just go ahead and make me cry while i sit here at my desk. freak! these are the same things i feel every day! i guess the only consolation is that for now they're all ours. before we have to give them up to school or girls or a wife or whatever. we have them now, right? that makes us feel better?? yes?

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  20. Don't TALK about it! Now I'm a mess.

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  21. Stop it, stop it!!! What are you doing???? Mine are two in TWO MONTHS! And I honestly didn;t realize it until this week. We took their 18m photos yeaterday. Seriously not yesterday, but still. And now I have to book ther 2y photos, and it hit my like a brick. So blue now :(

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  22. And now I'm crying. I love that Parker is right in between my two boys, so you are always reminding me of things JD used to do & making me look forward to when O can :)

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  23. what a sweet picture! I know what you're saying, we're only at 16 months, but for some reason 18 months seems like much more of a milestone age, or a "holy crap my baby is now a little kid" age. But it just gets more and more fun from here on out, right? :)

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  24. Sweet, but totally heart wrenching post. My little booger is 9 months old and I already feel that way! I loved when he would just lay there staring at me as I made ridiculous faces. Time is the devil, I tell ya.

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  25. this totally makes me want to cry. My little guy will be 3 in a few months. ugh. where did 3 years go?! it goes by way too fast :,(

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  26. BUT those years he spends under your roof will be some of the best of his life!

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  27. AWW HE GETTING SO BIG!!!! AMEN



    COME VISIT&GET COMFORTABLE
    WWW.STAYYOUNGFOREVER.BLOGSPOT.COM

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  28. such a beautiful photo.. I agree with the hes only gonna get more fun! :) ((hugs to the mama)) :)

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  29. :-( that's so sad! I totally understand and can't stand it! :-(

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  30. ..."or stand at my feet with his arms in the air saying "up! up!"

    Seriously hit home! Collin does this all of the time! I'll be so sad when he doesn't.

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  31. Gorgeous light in that photos! they do grow-up fast.
    Found your blog through the Pacific NW Blogger blog. :)

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  32. I don't want to let him go!!! This made me so sad! But hopeful also. I feel the same way. JC is going to be 17 months on the first and I can't believe how fast time has gone since his first birthday.

    melissa @ knit purl baby

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  33. I understand this completely. It is so hard!!

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  34. :( i think about this all the time!!!! :(

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  35. I totally agree with Mandy. Today is not the day... Cherish each moment in the 'now'. He will grow but you would not have it any other way! Each age is a delight! Parker is a daily miracle... oxox

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  36. Oh this made me cry! My Mason is 17 months and I think about this every single day!! This is such a fun age and that makes the days just fly by. Can we just freeze time?? :)

    Your Parker is so adorable!

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