Friday, October 21, 2011

this guy.

{linking up with the paper mama's photo challenge:  "face."  because?  this face kills me.}

oh man.

i started this post off in my head with the intention to rant a little.  but as i sit down here at the computer in my quiet house in my quiet little office while everybody else sleeps, i just can't do it.  i can't complain about this guy & his chubby little face.  so i won't.

but what i will say?  is oh my gosh you guys, he's changing.  not like cracking voice, oily-skin-acne-face changes... oh no, thank heavens not yet.  not for like twenty more years i don't think.  he is however changing into a little boy.  he is getting so much more strong willed & independent & with this new found independence comes a new found determination to do things his way.  or maybe it's just a newfound determination to do things.

and just because sometimes it's not exactly what i would love for him to be doing doesn't make it any less amazing.  yes, it's taking so much more energy out of me to chase after him & try to keep him entertained with what he should be doing & yes we do have the occasional showdown over wether or not he is going to pick up some of the food he threw on the floor at lunch, but know what else he does?  a lot.  like, he actually tells me he wants to eat.  he doesn't just sign "eat," he walks into the kitchen, pulls his bib off the hook where it hangs, walks over to his high chair, holds his bib up to his chin & says "eeeeaaat!"

so what if half that food ends up on the floor, splattered across the cupboards, or smeared across the curtains right?

and who cares if the kitchen floor is hardly ever walkable because it's constantly covered in canned foods & cake mixes from the lower cupboards?  parker can't help it if those things make perfect stacking blocks & are super fun to line up around the edges of the kitchen rug while i cook, ya know?

i guess he's just doing what any curious eighteen month old should be doing & i guess i'm just reacting like most every other mom... going crazy learning to be patient.  because really, at the end of the day it's all pretty amazing.  sure, sometimes i get my hair pulled, my face scratched, or my shoulders bit from an angry kid who would rather stay on the floor playing with cars than get picked up to have his messy diaper changed, but i also get random hugs, kisses & snuggles too.  so i guess it evens out?  yeah, it does.

actually no, it's not even.  it's way better than even.  i had no idea being a parent would be this awesome.  i had no idea that watching parker learn things & laugh & have fun & grow & explore would bring me such a crazy amount of happiness.  like actual, physical, i-can-feel-it-in-my-gut happiness.  because that happens daily.

so the moral of the story?  after all the food throwing, hair pulling, face scratching, & mess making is said & done, i would still have it no other way.  my kid is growing & developing & loves me despite the screams for "daddyyy!!!" through diaper changes.

for that?  i'm grateful.

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27 comments:

  1. it is tough isn't it? in the moment you are so frustrated, but when you really sit back and think about it life is pretty awesome. i'm 100% with you right now.

    and ryann has totally been pulling everything out of the pantry and stacking it while we're in the kitchen as well.

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  2. Yah...as they age they do get more determined and know what they WANT to do, regardless, if that is what you want them to do. It's funny because I try to rationalize with my kid all the time, silly, isn't it?!

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  3. As much as I wish Parker would stay sweet forever and all the time - reading this post was actually comforting. Kale is going through the exact same stage right now and this post just confirms that it's a STAGE. New age, new challenges, right? But like you said, also lots of new, amazing things happening.

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  4. It is tough at that age. In some ways it gets easier as they get a little older because they understand you. In other ways it gets more difficult. I wish Carsyn was doing these things like a normal 18 month old but on the other hand I am so thankful that I continue to get his cuddles and that he is not in trouble. I have to look at the positives in my situation.

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  5. Great post! I feel the same way lately. Cami has definitely turned one and is being a lot more whiny, but the talking and the snuggles and how FUN she is more than make up for it. This whole motherhood business is simply the best.

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  6. Oooh it is SUCH a difficult time. I completely understand what you're going through. I, too, have an 18 month old that is starting to insist on doing everything on her own and the word "no" had become one of her favorites. Maybe if we hit the terrible twos a little early, they'll end a little early too? Maybe? And if not, there's always a glass of wine after bed time! ;)

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  7. It's crazy how quickly they change and we have to adjust to it, like daily. Every day there is a little bit more of us letting go and letting them do it ... last night my toddler climbed off the couch - over the back! Fah-reaked me out, but it's his new found trick ... with many more to come. It can be frustrating and stressful and tiresome, but for them it's just a great big awesome adventure. I'm happy to be a part of it.

    Love this post you wrote, so from the heart. Your boy has a good mama! ;)

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  8. i went through that with my oldest, and am going through it again with my youngest. it's rough at times...but sooo worth it! :)

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  9. great post, amy! it's been fun to watch him get bigger and more like his own kid on here. i'm glad you feel that way. he's so lucky to have such a great mom and dad :)

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  10. its good to hear that im not the only one getting their hair pulled, cleaning the curtains, windows and floors 1,234 times in one day and trying (unsuccessfully) to keep my little from climbing up on the counters using canned goods as steps.

    toddlers.

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  11. You took the words right out of my mouth and the weight off of my teeth marked shoulders ;)

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  12. Amy, when messes are being made at my house. And believe me messes are DEFINITELY being made by my two boys. I just try to remember that someday my house will be clean but they will be gone living their own lives.

    Until then, I try not to care about the messes so much. Those messes are beautiful to me :)

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  13. this is a great post amy :) it's all about learning to navigate their cave man ways then adapting when they throw you a curve ball of change. you're a great mom and parker is adorable...go job lady!

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  14. great post! it's a crazy thing being a mommy - both the most challenging and rewarding thing I have ever done. You reflected that so sweetly in your post. Being a mom is amazing, it's a blessing and even with all the screaming, biting and mess-making - it is THE BEST THING I've ever done. Just wait until Parker is in high school, oh lordy!!

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  15. ::sigh:: I succumbed to the negativity a few weeks back and hit "Publish" on a ranting post about my own little man. It's good to know we all have those moments where, for just a millisecond, we are upset. And then we step back and say, minor tradeoff for the lovelies we get to smooch every day.

    Bib story is super cute, by the way. He def. has an awesome personality!

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  16. I love reading your blog because you seem to be such a sweet and transparent momma. Thanks for being grateful instead of venting, it was a reminder for me to do the same!:)

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  17. I'm going through the same stuff right now- Niall is really learning to exert himself in ways that I never saw coming. But you've got the right attitude- just stay patient and focus on the other 95% of the time when he's so cute and cuddly and fun :)

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  18. Oh my gosh such a face in that picture.. just too cute.. I have heard my friend say the exact same thing about her little one kendrick :)

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  19. i have found this age to be terribly difficult, yet terribly rewarding. i have a 21 month old boy who is so independent and stubborn. it makes dasy very hard but in the end, i am forever grateful that i even have this little boy. i am lucky to have a baby at all. i also look at this time with him and his ways just the first stage to becoming who will be in life and it amazes me. it is awesome being a mom and can be tough and tiring but i wouldn't have it any other way.
    parker is lucky to have you. you are a fantastic mom! it shows through your words here! keep up the good work!
    xo

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  20. he is such a cutie..amazing so much frustration can happen with all his cuteness!

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  21. What a cute little guy. I like the face he is making. ok, I like him a little bit. Haha

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  22. Ohhhh! I feel your pain and your joy. I think God purposely makes this toddler time the most frustrating and yet the most joyful and rewarding. These little kiddos can be the most exasperating and the next minute you couldn't be more proud and happy of them and in total awe and feeling blessed to be their parent and able to witness their lives. It is amazing. So, yes! I know exactly what you are saing!

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  23. love love this. agree. 100%. yes. for sure it's time for us to be best friends and dane and parker to be best friends. sound good? k thanks.

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  24. he is such a cutie. it's really hard but at the same time kind great to see them grow up. i feel that way with my kids all the time, they're both growing so fast. time just needs to slow down for a little while so i can enjoy them more while they still let me hug and kiss them.

    just cherish and enjoy each moment while he's still little. this was a very great post amy. enjoy your weekend.

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  25. oh i'm totally with you. i have a 2.5 yr old and a 15 month old and they are both showing the same stuff. hang in there because they grow up too fast :)

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  26. I really needed to read this right now. Thank you, Amy. I love that our little dudes are the same age. :)

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