Thursday, October 28, 2010

"breastfeeding is so convenient" ...really?


something you often hear when people find out you breastfeed your baby is, "oooh, isn't it wonderful? it's so convenient!"  i have now exclusively breastfed parker without supplementing for six months & one word i would not choose to describe my breastfeeding experience is "convenient."

i am very grateful that i've been able to nurse parker for this long.  i know i'm lucky to have been able to provide enough milk to fill those chubby cheeks & grow those pinch-able arm & leg rolls.  it's pretty cool to see my body produce something that my baby can live off of all on its own, but it has not been easy. it's been a battle.  a sometimes sleepless, sometimes painful, sometimes time consuming, & sometimes inconvenient battle.  there's nothing convenient about pulling your shirt up & fighting an awkward cover in a restaurant booth to quiet your crying child while simultaneously trying not to flash onlookers {trust me, there's always onlookers}.  there's nothing convenient about having to stop & nurse for twenty minutes when you are trying to dash out the door to get somewhere on time.  there's nothing convenient about being the only person who gets up with the baby in the middle of the night when he's hungry because, well, your husband just doesn't have the required equipment to take care of it.

and, when parker was about two months old, we got thrush.  oh. my. gawsh. the pain.  we dealt with that for two weeks & i nursed through blood, sweat, & tears.  literally.  that was not convenient.

and while going through all that, sam often asked me why i didn't just wean & start parker on formula.  to be honest, i really don't know.  i just always figured i would breastfeed, & so i did.  seriously.  i'm not someone who will side-eye a person when i hear your baby is formula fed... i really couldn't care less.  i hate that there is so much hostility between breast feeders & formula feeders & that you often hear arguments by one that it is better than the other.  everyone chooses what they do based on their own & their baby's best interests, their abilities, & their personal situations.  seriously none of my business.

for me, breast was best and i'm glad.  i'm glad that i was able to set a goal & achieve it.  i wasn't one of those people who just breezed through six months of nursing while loving every minute of it.  it was freaking hard.

but now that we've reached six months, the minimum amount of time i had hoped to exclusively nurse for, i am wondering... are we done?  after six months of hard, grueling nursing, and spending lots & lots of time thinking about how nice it would be to be able to just shake up a bottle & let p-ray go to town on his own while i continued to go about my day, i'm wondering... can i quit now?  and to be honest, i don't think i can.

for those fifteen minutes, five times a day... it's just parker & mom.  it's our time.  it's the time i hold my little boy in my arms, away from anyone else (usually), & we bond.  it's really amazing.  he still wraps his little hand around my thumb while he nurses & i still hold his little head in my hand.  i seriously get teary eyed just thinking about losing that time with him.

so yeah, the day will come when we'll wean.  someday i will totally & completely get my body back to myself one-hundred percent.  there will be a time when i won't have to lock myself in the nursing mothers room at work to pump two times a day for twenty minutes, or when i won't have to fight parker to keep a cover over us for decency's sake while nursing in public.  my life will become a little more convenient.  but i now realize that this inconvenience has been totally & completely worth it.  that it's just another one of those worthwhile sacrifices you make as a parent for the sake of your kid.

so, here's to a few more months of being pleasantly inconvenienced.

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33 comments:

  1. I totally agree with ALL of this. I planned on nursing a full year but oh hells bells, we got thrush, wiggle worm baby, and 13 teeth. It wasnt always the easiest thing. But I get what you're saying about the fact that they get SO busy and so on the move that the only times you get to cuddle them is while nursing. Which is totally why it took me til Ryan was almost 17 months to wean.. we BOTH had a hard time letting go of those sweet moments in the rocking chair. I think from 6 months on was easier because we were pros at it and like you said, they dont need to eat as often! So keep it up if you want to!

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  2. So true! Great post. Some days I wish I did not have to feed still but I would totally miss it.

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  3. This is so true, after weaning my daughter it was one thing I missed the most. People give me weird looks when I tell them I miss the time I shared with her while I was breastfeeding. Congrats on making it to 6 months and beyond!!
    best wishes

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  4. I agree with this post too. I only breastfed for two months and I was made to feel guilty about it by my lactation consultant--she was awful! I like this post--you really shed light on this subject.

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  5. I totally agree with everything you said. I am on the verge of weaning completely. My baby is about to turn one. I nursed all 3 of my kids until they were 12 months old. I really wanted to stop early with my 3rd, but like you said, I just couldn't give it up.
    Good job sicking with it, even though it isn't easy.

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  6. Yay for six months of breastfeeding and beyond! I made it to four months before discovering mine was allergic... but I so remember the inconvenience. And although it was so hard to say goodbye to that special bond, I quickly became a fan of her being able to hold her own bottle...

    But props to you for being able to give him some of the healthiest food he'll ever eat in his life! KUDOS!

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  7. I love your post and I am totally with you! Hard and wonderful all together. 6 months is when Charlie started taking a little bottle after I breastfed because she didn't seem to be getting enough, plus she was just not as interested and I could NOT keep us covered for the life of me. Slowly we introduced the bottle more partly because I was flying for 7 hours with her by myslef and I wanted her to be used to the bottle somewhat since it isn't at ALL convenient to breastfeed sitting less than 6 inches from a strange man (no matter how covered I can manage to be). Also I didn't seem to be producing enough for her but we still nursed in the morning and evening and usually once during the day. Then 7-8 months it was morning and night until she just weaned herself at 8 months. I think the bottle is great and definitely "convenient" but I wouldn't trade the time I got to breastfeed for anything.

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  8. Oh, and she still holds my fingers and plays with my hair and face when I feed her a bottle.

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  9. good for you for sticking through it!

    i thought for sure that i would give up at six months and now i can't imagine not nursing her and am sure i will go to a year if she lets me.

    granted i am totally ready to have my body back, but the special time is worth it for now.

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  10. I love this post. I exclusively BF Bennett until he was 3 months and then for some reason my milk production when WAY down and I tried EVERYTHING to get my milk back up... but it didn't work. I had to supplement a couple of feedings a day. And I can tell ya that it wasn't necessarily more convenient. Making and cleaning bottles is no fun. But you do what you gotta do! And I know what you mean about not being ready to let go of that time with your boy. Bennett kinda started weaning himself around 7 months. He still nurses, but only at night, in the morning, and once during the day. My husband says "Why don't you just cut him off, he's only nursing 3-4 times a day now". I just can't yet. I love and cherish that time with him. That bond is special.

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  11. I'm so glad that you were able to reach your original goal and that you're happily continuing!

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  12. I don't like breastfeeding. At all. But every time someone tells me to just quit and use formula, the stubborn side comes out in me and makes me want to nurse even longer just to make a point to those people.

    This may sound bad, but for me the debate about breast vs. formula is never about the nutrition for baby. It's that formula is freaking expensive! I breastfeed because I'm waaaay too cheap to buy formula.

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  13. I love this. When I finished nursing Hayden, I missed it. A lot. But it was nice to go to a bottle so Carl could start feeding her too and have some of his own one on one time:)
    Love you!

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  14. Good for you for breastfeeding this long and continuing to do so! I'm sure parker would miss those moments as well if you weaned. Just remember not to feel bad when you choose to stop. Breastfeeding is hard and I know a lot of women beat themselves up for not wanting to or stopping.

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  15. OK, so I know that breast feeding is important. And I would like to think I will... but the thought of it totally freaks me out. Does that make me a bad person??? And reading this post made me both want to, and not want to. I know its a bonding thing, but OMG it really freaks me out. But I LOVE that you tell it the way it is. Please keep telling us non-mommies how it really is!! I feel reading you makes me more prepared for the future! And you have no idea how much I appreciate it.

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  16. Congrats on making it 6 months! I do understand how "convenient" (or not!) it can be. At 6 weeks, my daughter wasn't quite gaining weight like she should, so we started supplementing formula now and then. It worked, but I definitely got the riot act from some people (whatever!) I've been pumping since my little guy was born and, when he hits 1 month, we'll start a bottle a day of pumped milk--probably more if my husband is left up to his own devices. My guess is that the occasional formula will follow, but I'm trying to put that off. Sigh!

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  17. Congrats on making it to 6 months! A total accomplishment in my books! I was one who swore I was going boob only for a year and then I wasn't able to produce milk. As many looks as you get in public for breastfeeding I got for NOT! It was a hard time but I vowed to always feed her in my arms like I was breastfeeding. It still was so hard to let her grow up and loose that time we shared together. :)ps... my word verification today is chest... coincidence??

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  18. This was a great post, and very realistic. I nursed my twins until they were about 10 months old. Trust me, the wiggliness just gets worse! But at the same time the older they get th emore efficient you both become at it as well. I mostly breastfed at first so I wouldnt have to buy a ton of formula for two babies, and I also had a crazy lactation consultant who brainwashed me into thinking I was a bad mom if I didnt. (FYI, not true)My goal was to get to 2 months, then 6 months, then 9. By 10 months they liked solids more than me so I weaned them.
    Good luck!
    Oh PS Nikki: I am still freaked out by it! Its a weird feeling, but you get used to it!

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  19. I love this post!! I totally agree with you and appreciate your honesty! It has a lot of benefits of course but it also is hard, stressful and sometimes just plain overwhelming. Thanks for posting this, I think it is a great topic to discuss. And congrats on 6 months, that is awesome!!!

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  20. Great post! Not necessarily convenient but I never even considered weaning before 12 months and I actually went to 18 months because my daughter was pretty hooked and I cried once I did wean because it was our bonding time! Everyone is different but I felt it would be so selfish of me to say it was too hard. I mean we sacrifice for our children and I felt very strongly in the importance of it. I never had any problems with nursing so it did make it easier. It would have been nice if my daughter had learned to take a bottle and so with #2 I will make sure they know how to take a bottle whether it has pumped milk or formula in it, if I need to be away. I think the biggest problem really is that our freedom feels infringed upon and we feel "stuck" which is a change esp. for us in the "me" generation.

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  21. This is sweet! I nursed for a month and I wasn't producing enough. :( & It was REALLY hard for me to get over the fact that I wasn't going to be able to continue. But I loved reading this, it reminded me of those sweet times! :)

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  22. I totally agree. The only time I've found nursing very convenient was on a 12 hour plane ride, and that was just because I didn't have to hassle with bottles on the plane. But in general nursing in public is NOT easy for us!!

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  23. I have so much respect for you sticking with it through the pain. I'm not gonna lie, I get really jealous when people talk about it being such a breeze for them. I was completely committed to breastfeeding from day one, but just couldn't hack the pain after 2 months. I would scream and cry, and Matt would say "Why are you doing this? - The emotional trauma has to outweigh the physical benefits." But I would not have any of it. Eventually, when I got so frustrated that I started yelling at Niall to get his "stupid" arm out of my way, I realized he was right. My determination to pull it off was getting a little out of control. I SOOO hope that I can do it next time, though!

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  24. Congrats on 6 months! For us, that was a huge turning point, where things really did get easier and easier. It helped a lot that I started regularly going to a breastfeeding support group right around then, where I could be comfortable nursing in front of other people, which eventually meant I could nurse in public without a cover, which meant any time Evan was hungry or fussy I had a built in soother. We were really really good at it - I think very few people noticed the breastfeeding because I WASN'T wearing a cover. But it takes a lot to get to that point.

    I do have to say, I can't wait to have a brand new nursing infant to start over with. The cuddly times are the BEST.

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  25. Oh my gosh, one ZILLION percent agree! I breastfed and supplemented with all 3 of my kids, and that seemed to work for me. I can't imagine doing it exclusively though, and that's wonderful that you have been able to for so long! Esp. with all the frustrations along the way. My husband would do a feeding or two during the night, and I wouldn't have been very pleasant to live with if he hadn't - LOL! :-)

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  27. I am sorry it has been a challenge, Ame... I remember how rough it was for ya at first :( Way to go in sticking with it. BF was wonderful for me (and I thought it was pretty convenient vs. having to mix up formula - well as 'convenient' as kids CAN be in the first place like you said..lol) and I too was SO sad when it was time to stop at the year+ mark. Weaning was so hard for me, especially with Gabe knowing it would be the last!

    Good job meeting your goals and persevering - you are such a great mom. Thanks for reminding me about the importance of that special quiet moment with each child and taking time to bond with them - however you do it :) Going to go snuggle with Gabe now (my big baby, lol)

    p.s. sorry that was me above that deleted my comment, I had to fix what I wrote haha. Luv ya xo

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  28. You took the words out of my mouth. We've battled 3 series of Thrush and after the third I (and Matt) started to wonder why i'm still doing this to us...but it's true - there is no other time in his life that it will just be us...me and prime...it's worth the inconvenience. and you're right...it's just plain inconvenient!

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  29. I love this post because I understand it now! It's been harder than I thought it would be, but I love the time with her and the special bond we have. She's only 3 weeks old and already I'm sad that someday she'll wean!

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  30. I just read this for the first time and I love it!

    The whole time I was pregnant people told me how great breastfeeding is and that it *might* hurt for a few weeks. Only one friend was truthful and I didn't believe her.

    Well...my breasts hurt for 3.5 months- like SERIOUS PAIN. We had thrush and because it was so hot last summer it would not go away.

    I am glad I did it (and am still doing it and she is almost 9 months) but man it was HARD WORK. Now that is what I tell all my mama-to-be friends. I know they won't believe me but at least I tried!

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  31. It has many inconveniences, especially in the beginning! And for some people more than others. For me I found it more convenient than bottles once we got the hang of it. I mean you don't have to buy the formula or bottles anymore, or wash them, which is a huge inconvenience, especially if you're broke. I did mixed breastfeeding and bottle/formula feeding and I have to say... I find breastfeeding more convenient and was glad when I could finally ditch the bottles. But that's just me. I got lucky also in the sense that I never had a biter. But I am not going to be ignorant and try to tell people that it's going to be the same for them as it was for me! That's what the hardcore breastfeeders need to realize. Just because it worked out for them does not mean we all can or want to breastfeed for "the full 2 years" or whatever. Sorry for the rant, hahah this post is so old! I don't even know how I got here.

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